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Rice for Dinner: Owls vs. Charlotte 49ers Preview and Prediction
Jim Dedmon-Imagn Images

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — College football, the sport that never disappoints, offers us exactly one game on Thursday night: The Rice Owls (1-2) vs. Charlotte 49ers (2-1) on the World Wide Leader.

Yes, you read that correctly. The 49ers will host the Owls in a nationally televised “showdown” on ESPN at 7:30 p.m. And by “showdown,” we mean the kind of game only true football sickos will brag about watching wire-to-wire, or degenerate gamblers.

The Numbers Game Nobody Asked For

Oddsmakers currently have Rice as a (-2.5) favorite on FanDuel, with a total set at (43.5). The Owls sit at -128 on the ML, while Charlotte is a slight home dog at +106.

According to Sagarin, Rice ranks 144th nationally, while Charlotte lags behind at 183rd. For context, that’s FBS and FCS combined — meaning there are dozens of smaller-school teams computers actually like more than these two. Home field is worth 5.38 points in the model, making this game basically a toss-up between a bad team and… a somehow worse bad team.

Charlotte, Masters of Making Others Look Good

The 49ers are 1-2, with their lone victory coming against Monmouth — which isn’t exactly a résumé builder. Their losses? To Appalachian State and North Carolina, both in Charlotte, both blowouts, both games that somehow managed to make their opponents look better than they really are. It takes a special kind of bad to make UNC’s defense look competent, but credit to Charlotte: mission accomplished.

Conner Harrell quarterbacks the 49ers, and while he’s managed to steady the offense in flashes, there’s little consistency. Charlotte isn’t just losing games, they’re making their own backyard a charity playground for visitors.

Rice, Pretenders with Prairie View

The Owls, for their part, are 2-1. Wins came against Louisiana and Prairie View A&M. Yes, Prairie View — the kind of opponent you schedule when you need a free W and some extra concession revenue. Their lone loss was to Houston, and it wasn’t especially pretty. Quarterback Chase Jenkins leads Rice, and while he’s capable of taking care of the ball, this offense rarely inspires confidence. Still, when you’re playing Charlotte, you don’t need to be inspiring, just competent.

Prediction: Pain, But Also a Rice Victory over Charlotte

So, what does all this mean? It means ESPN, in its infinite wisdom, has slotted this clunker as the Thursday night appetizer. If you don’t have Amazon Prime Video for the NFL game or can’t stomach watching Josh Allen torch the Dolphins secondary, congratulations, this is your main course.

Rice for dinner, no double protein, not even a millennial sized scoop of steak.

Rice has just enough structure and discipline to avoid the banana peel here, to continue our food theme.

Charlotte, on the other hand, has the uncanny ability to invent new ways to lose. Give us the Owls, in a game that will test the patience of even the most loyal college football junkies.

Because no football is bad football… unless it’s this football. You’re likely to find more fans in the stands (and streaming on FloSports) for a Carolina late-model race than you are watching this game.

Heck, the Summer Shootout races just up the road at Charlotte Motor Speedway likely bring in more eyeballs.

Alas…

We’ll throw it on a back corner TV or an iPad if we get bored, after all, baseball is a bit dull this time of year.

Prediction:

Rice Owls 24, Charlotte 49ers 16

Under 43.5

Let’s do this. Football, woohoo, screams Jason Kelce!

This article first appeared on EasySportz and was syndicated with permission.

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