Fair or foul: 11 ballpark foods we enjoy and 11 that are a swing and a miss

Of course, we must begin with a classic: the hot dog. Although we’re putting this one in the “fair” column, it’s worth noting that we won’t eat just any hot dog at a baseball game. If it’s a shriveled-up, barely recognizable frank that’s been cooking in its wrapper for hours, it’s definitely not worth the six bucks you spent on it. But today, at stadiums across the country, there are some epic dogs out there made with quality meat, cooked fresh, and served with various toppings.

A steak sandwich seems to be an option at numerous ballparks, but we never give it the green light. You’re not going to get a good cut of steak at a standard concession stand, and if there’s a fancier steak sandwich available, you’ll be paying a premium on already-inflated prices. Unless you’re watching a game at the Philadelphia Phillies’ Citizens Bank Park—in a city known for its cheesesteaks—save the steak for the steakhouse…numerous sports stadiums have those now!

With all the options at ballparks nowadays, why settle for a traditional hot dog? Sometimes we’d rather bite into a beefy bratwurst or succulent sausage—dressed up with our favorite toppings, of course. (We’re fans of the classic combination of spicy brown mustard and sauerkraut!)

A bag of potato chips is a bag of potato chips, whether you eat it at the ballpark, at home, in your car, on the bus, or at the doctor’s office in the middle of your physical. Don’t waste your money on this marked-up munchie, and get a freshly fried side instead…like the following entry.

Concession stands sell their french fries by the bucket or the boat, which are the very best vessels in which to serve them. Straight-cut used to be the standard, but that’s not the only form of fries at stadiums today — waffle fries, curly fries, shoestring fries, and steak fries are often on the menu as well. Load ‘em up with ketchup, or upgrade to chili-cheese fries, buffalo fries, or even poutine!

This isn’t a movie theater, so why are people buying popcorn at stadiums? Although to be honest, we’re not fans of eating popcorn in public in general, as we tend to get kernels stuck in our teeth, which can be a major annoyance when you’re trying to enjoy some entertainment. 

One more sausage-type entry is coming to bat here in the seventh spot, because we’re suckers for a good ballpark corn dog. Not just because it’s something special that we solely snack on at stadiums and fairs, but also because it’s so easy to eat while watching a game. More stadium foods should be served on sticks!

Remember what we said about corn dogs being easy to eat? This factor is important to us, and it’s the primary reason we don’t purchase pulled pork sandwiches at stadiums: they’re too messy. It’s difficult to keep the meat contained in the bun, and even more tricky to keep the barbecue sauce off your fingers. And some of that stuff is stickier than your standard ketchup and mustard, making the whole thing a bench-clearing brawl between you and your meal.

When it comes to hot food, a cheeseburger is one of our go-to favorites, whether we’re at a stadium, a pub, or anywhere else where there’s one on the menu. Burgers are dependable, difficult to botch, filling, and usually a good bang for your buck. If we can get cheese, bacon, or some more creative toppings on our ballpark burger, all the better.

A perfectly baked soft pretzel is a thing of beauty—we often order a pretzel with mustard and beer cheese as an appetizer at our favorite pub. But perfectly baked soft pretzels are a rare find at stadium concession stands. Usually, the only option is a rock-hard old tire that has been spinning around in a little glass cube since the first inning…of yesterday’s game. We’ll skip the so-called “soft” pretzels and order one while celebrating (or commiserating) at the pub post-game.

We’re taking a stand here to say that stadiums often have the best chicken tenders around. They’re not the healthiest chicken tenders, and they are rarely imaginative, but they’re almost always thick, juicy, and super crispy. And if we can get a tangy honey mustard or a smokey barbecue sauce to dip them in, we’re in seventh [inning] heaven. (Bonus: Chicken tenders are often your best bet if you’re looking for a high-protein option at the ballpark.)

While we love chicken tenders at the ballpark, some stadiums have begun selling chicken wings, too. Don’t get us wrong: We flock to wings almost anytime they’re an option, but not in an arena or other sports venue. They’re sticky, they’re messy, and at the end, you’re left with a tray full of bones that you either have to get up to throw away or avoid stepping in while you’re at your seat. 

We’ve had a love-hate relationship with nachos at ballparks and other stadiums over the years. When we were kids, we didn’t mind that the “nacho” name was used to refer to something that usually amounted to stale chips topped with synthetic, liquid cheese. We changed our minds as we got older, but arenas and other venues have adjusted to compensate. Now you can get fresh-baked tortilla chips adorned with actual melted cheese, as well as toppings like tomatoes, jalapenos, peppers, olives, beef, chicken, salsa, shredded lettuce, and numerous other options. 

Just say no to salads at stadiums. We’re all for eating healthy, but we feel like a trip to the ballpark is a “treat yourself” situation that should involve salty snacks, sweets, and stuff that’s grilled and/or fried. Whether you’re young or old, if you’re going to the game, swing for the fences.

Peanuts are protein-packed and good for curbing hunger, but if we’re being honest, the thing we enjoy most about eating whole peanuts at the ballpark is being able to throw the shells on the ground. Peanuts are also a good bang for your buck, as a big bag won’t cost much but will last for several innings. 

Buy me some peanuts, but skip the Cracker Jack. We know this statement may be a bit blasphemous because the caramel corn classic is explicitly mentioned in “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” but boxed/bagged popcorn just doesn’t do it for us. Some stadiums now make their own caramel corn, which is something we would absolutely recommend, even though it doesn’t come with a little prize.

Shout out to Target Field in Minneapolis, home of the Minnesota Twins, for turning us non-Midwesterners on to a regional staple: cheese curds. Not only were these deep-fried pieces of squeaky cheese absolutely delicious, but they were both snackable and shareable—a perfect combination when watching a ballgame with a friend or spouse. 

One cheesy dish we can resist at the ballpark is pizza. Some stadiums have really stepped up their game in terms of pizza options, but many still serve stale, generic slices that usually just come in plain or pepperoni. Plus, we never got over the fear that someone would throw a slice at us ever since we witnessed the infamous Fenway Pizza Incident back in 2007.

Baseball season coincides with the height of summer, and when you’re sitting in the sun for three or more hours, you’ll need some way to stay cool. Ice cream is an excellent option, although we recommend avoiding a cone that will allow the frozen dessert to melt all over your hand. Instead, choose a cup or dish, which also allows you to load your ice cream up with toppings—bonus points if the cup is in the shape of a batting helmet!

This might be the absolute worst thing to order at a ballpark. First, it’s just sugar—cavity-inducing, diabetes-causing, sabotage-your-entire-day sugar. Second, it’s obviously meant for kids, but giving this treat to them is a terrible idea. Cotton candy is one of the stickiest substances on Earth, so it will inevitably get all over their hands, faces, clothes, and family members (i.e. you). And of course, cotton candy only comes in neon blue and neon pink, so every little spot that sticks to them is highly visible. Good luck.

Not down with dairy? Your best bet for relief from the heat is a frozen lemonade cup—a ballpark staple. Unlike Italian ice, a similar treat, most frozen lemonades aren’t rock solid, so you can leisurely scoop out spoonfuls without missing a pitch. And lemonade is already a classic cure for the summertime sun, making this akin to comfort in a cup.

Yes, baseball and sunflower seeds go together like slow-pitch softball leagues and beer, but not when you’re a spectator. Much of the fun of eating seeds is spitting out the shells, and you can’t do that in a polite way when crammed into the stands with 40,000 other fans. As previously stated, we’re okay with discarding peanut shells on the ground, but that’s mostly because you’re not putting them in your mouth first (unless you’re doing it very wrong).