Shaquille O'Neal still swatting away subpoenas

According to attorney Adam Moskowitz, one of the lawyers representing plaintiff Edwin Harrison is his suit against O’Neal and other celebrity endorsers of FTX, his team can’t find the “largest man.”

The plaintiffs reportedly tried to serve Shaq at his home, TNT’s studios and other places where O’Neal has continued to make promotional appearances with no luck. Now, the legal team is planning to ask the court for substituted service, where attorneys can send papers to a party's known address. The lawyers are asking permission to put up a website and serve him via social media, though we can't imagine O'Neal personally checks his DMs.

Shaq is being sued along with celebrity endorsers including Tom Brady and Steph Curry over the collapse of cryptocurrency exchange FTX. O'Neal said he was "all in" on FTX in one commercial, which appears to be the foundation for the suit.

For his part, O'Neal says he was "just a paid spokesman." O'Neal may be a spokesman for more products than anyone in history. Should we assume he personally uses the General for insurance, eats Shaq-a-Roni pizza, drinks Shaq Soda and drives a Buick?

It's baffling that the process servers can't manage to find O'Neal, who is not only one of the most recognizable people in the world and very large, but also someone who regular announces his whereabouts on social media — like the hospital.

Or a giant music festival during Super Bowl weekend.

Or something called the Emsculpt Empower Lounge.

Or the Big 12 Conference after-party, during a weekend where O'Neal also opened a restaurant.

Shaq has always moved surprisingly well for such a big man, so that may be how he's avoided service for so many months. When a process server came to O'Neal's home a few days after his hip surgery, a security guard at the gate said that he'd "already fled to the Bahamas."

While a judge may allow for substituted service, we contend that the funniest possible outcome would be Charles Barkley personally serving O'Neal with the papers on "Inside The NBA" — preferably after a race to the board.