A Plea To The Football Gods

With all that has gone on this season, and especially this past week, I’ve begun to wonder if the Football Gods forever damn us. While we get blessed with meaningless wins, like the Miami Miracle or the famous face mask throw by Ryan Fitzpatrick to win against the Raiders, we can never win when it truly matters.

We, as fans, hoped that a new era would usher in some new luck, especially with the early success under Mike McDaniel. But through it all, we seem to be back in the same place. Every time we control our destiny and need that win to either get us in or advance past the first round of the playoffs, we usually get embarrassed on a grand stage. It’s a pattern that you could bet on and likely be a rich person by now. But will there be a day when the Football Gods will once again bless the Miami Dolphins, or has the Perfect Season doomed us for the rest of eternity?

I’ve tried every superstition in the book to bring the Dolphins a Super Bowl, but I’ve never tried pleading with the Football Gods. So here it goes!

With all the suffering we fans have to endure year after year, I ask you to recognize the amount of heartache we have experienced. And not just that, but please understand the degree of that heartache. While you did give us the greatest passer of all time in Dan Marino, he never got a defense or a run game to help win a Super Bowl. While lots of records were broken, we will always remember how we came up short.

In 1997, we drafted Jason Taylor, and a few years later, we traded for Ricky Williams, but even with all this talent, we couldn’t even win a playoff game. Even more insulting, we had a chance to hire Mike Tomlin as our head coach in 2007 (a coach who has never had a losing season in 18 years as the Pittsburgh Steelers head coach), but the front office deemed him “too hip-hop.”

But the pain doesn’t stop there. Outside of the constant head coach changes (and debacles) we’ve gone through since Dave Wannstedt got us our last playoff win in 2000, we could have drafted our next franchise quarterback in Drew Brees, but Nick Saban decided to trade for Daunte Culpepper instead. That still might be the biggest gaffe this team has made this century.

If that wasn’t enough suffering, the Miami Dolphins chose to draft Charles Harris instead of getting a generational pass rusher in T.J. Watt in the 2017 draft class. But once again, it doesn’t stop there. 2020 was supposed to be the year we really made an impact with all the draft capital that Chris Grier acquired through his various trades. But that draft class and several since have plagued this franchise to this very day.

So, without ripping off more scabs, I ask you, Football Gods, to take this suffering into consideration. From the players to the fans, we are begging for justice. Thank you for hearing me out, and thank you for the game of football!