Ranking the current alternate uniforms of every NFL team

The Buccaneers denied Tom Brady an opportunity to wear the creamsicles -- a wish the Hall of Fame-bound QB expressed -- but forced him into these. Pewter's sports apex probably topped "Alarm Clock Bucs" and differentiated the Brady years from the Derrick Brooks-Warren Sapp period, though it became quickly obvious the world is not ready for this much pewter. Pewter Day takes the Bucs out of much better attire each year.

As is the case with Bucs Pewter, the Cowboys take elite uniforms off the table when they dust these off. From the white helmet to the bland blue tops to the dull pants, this is an unnecessary tribute. Unlike the Bears or Lions' throwbacks, the Cowboys were not good when they wore these (1960-63). If the Cowboys are hunting for a new throwback, perhaps their underappreciated blues from the Roger Staubach era? 

This might be the NFL's most irritating uniform. The Chargers boast arguably (I'll argue it) the NFL's best uniform. When the gold pants come out, we always get a magic show. Even when the Bolts disappoint and use their white pants in L.A., they still have a top-10 look. They also have a strong modified throwback kit to go to. These navy blues are a complete waste of time, a bizarre tribute to a bad uniform era. There was a reason Chris Berman and Co. geeked out for the powder blues during the Drew Brees-Philip Rivers years. Their standards -- particularly in the 2010s -- were not appointment viewing. 

As this list will be forced to litigate, the NFL has a problem with teams forcing black uniform elements into their rotations. The Colts do not appear to have that planned (yet), but their black helmets remind of an Indianapolis-area Lids. I suppose we will need to see the full product, but the teasers do not point to a good watch being on tap. 

The Saints overthought this one. New Orleans boasts perhaps the best all-white look in the NFL; the black helmets threw off a scheme that did not need much tweaking. The only previous issue with the Saints' gold-numbered layout was their helmets' gold differing slightly from the numbers' color. The team instead revamped the scheme into a mismatched array, cutting into its best uniform. 

The NFL is in a better place, uniform-wise, than it was during the Aughts and into the early 2010s. But the league does over-monochrome itself at times. The Ravens can at least get away with their all-black look, seeing at it has been a primary color for the team since its 1996 metamorphosis. Still, this is a bit much. And, post-Ed Reed and Ray Lewis, it does not evoke as much intimidation. 

The Lions have multiple alternate uniforms, and give credit to the NFL's rare team to pay tribute to road MLB attire. While this is not the monochrome offering most teams prefer, it at least presents originality. Still, Detroit wears these at home. That takes their quality blue-on-silver look out of the mix.

Criticism came Houston's way for designing a basic uniform out of the chute. The Texans rolled out their current standard design at their 2002 inception. But the Houston white and blue kits get the job done, like a Mission Impossible movie. (Like the MI series, you don't always recognize the characters on the Texans.) As we addressed in our best/worst all-time uniform feature, the Texans present the NFL's least flashy red. It should not be over-showcased, and these certainly do that.

Romanticizing these makes sense for the Browns; they advanced to a championship game -- either in the NFL or the All-American Football Conference -- in each season they wore them (1946-51). It was annoying, however, to watch these deployed in a primetime slot -- when the Browns had tremendous looks closeted. The stripe commitment is admittedly intriguing, but this is basically orange Penn State. 

This sea of nothingness at least stays in line with the Colts' current color scheme. The early Johnny Unitas-era uniform -- ditched before Baltimore's second championship (1959) -- does not take too much off the table, unlike some of the other throwbacks receiving current screentime. This is more like "Diet Colts." If the Colts were truly brave, however, they would fire up their mid-1950s alternate reds. Imagine the confusion. 

The NFL loosening its helmet restrictions helped the Eagles, whose previous all-black alternate needed to have a misplaced green helmet adorning it. But the Eagles have long veered off course for uniforms. They have stuck with this color scheme longer than any in their history. Somehow, the McNabb-Wentz-Hurts design has lasted nearly three times as long as the Kelly Greens. At least the Broncos gave their sublime oranges a long run before subjecting the masses to their stirrups. Philly has overcommitted here. 

Of the NFL's many all-black alternates, the Commanders cleared a low bar. The Commanders needed a distinguishing alternate, given their busy uniform and mascot updates in the 2020s. The black-and-gold works, and the multi-crest jersey adds to the originality. The lines bracketing the names on the back of the Washington jerseys could be quietly eradicated, but these are fine. It is unfortunate the Commanders could not pivot to these more often, as soft red numbers make for a hideous watch when the all-whites come out.

Having worn the same uniform since 1961, the Packers have to stretch deep into their history to find throwbacks. This one is less invasive than the Curly Lambeau-period design, but the Packers barely wore this uniform (a 1950 one-off). 

Like the Packers, the Bears must go deep into their uniform past for these. The 1930s look gives us a stripe overload, but unlike most unis of the era, is not flooded with beige or provides a full-on eyesore. The sock commitment, in particular, makes this uniform passable. The Bears of the early George Halas years have far more dangerous fashion territory to explore, making these worth keeping in the rotation. 

Rolling out a plus uniform from their inception in 1995, the Panthers now regularly wear alternates that diminish its appeal a bit. Of the all-black lot, "Black Panther" was acceptable and a deserved effort. But throwing a black logo on a black helmet limited this uniform's aesthetic appeal. 

The Jets committed some uniform crimes last season, shirking their responsibilities as one of the NFL's few green hubs. The AFC East team did not wear green below the neck until Week 14, going through with a bizarre mission. Seeing as the Jets' green has long eclipsed the Eagles' version, it placed considerable responsibility on the Packers to help the NFL afloat on this front. Given their 2022 fashion choices, this all-black design was inevitable. The helmet did provide a saving grace, at least, but we do need to be on our toes this season. Has the black-uniform craze infected the Jets?

Credit the Bears for coming up with something original that did not involve a monochrome presentation. The helmets bring a nice change of pace, though in a league housing three orange bastions, it feels like the Bears' alternate color trails the Broncos, Browns and Bengals by a notable margin. Perhaps we need more time with these. 

The Bengals completed an admirable experiment, using the newfound helmet flexibility creatively by giving "White Tiger" important screentime. This commitment was a lot to process upon its unveiling, but the Bengals deserve points for this tribute. These are overly stripy, which I suppose is the point, and the Bengals' standard road attire provides a poor foundation on which to build. There just is not enough color going on here. 

The Steelers do love their oversized pants stripes, keeping them as a feature regardless of era. As one of the ten teams that have a monochrome black uniform in their closet, the Steelers can at least be relied upon to execute it properly. Plus, these throwbacks saved the football world from the bumblebee design that plagued the second half of Ben Roethlisberger's career. 

One of just two teams capable of giving us a purple onslaught, the Ravens bounce back when they wear these. Baltimore's second NFL franchise has never offered the masses a good standard uniform, but accentuating gold on this alternate look places the squad in a better light. It is too bad these are limited to once-a-year status.

These frequently draw ire, but the neon Seahawk has not caused nearly as much visual harm as purported. Even when the Seahawks would match their neon jersey with standard pants during the Russell Wilson era, the result was effective. Seattle has the neon market cornered. These are particularly flashy in prime time, though developments in the 2023 offseason make this clearly the Seahawks' second-best alternate uniform.

Minnesota lost the Lakers in 1960, gaining the Vikings a year later. This particular Vikings look delivers the NFL's closest Lakers facsimile (doing so from a state with a high lake content). The Vikings use a separate all-purple look, only keeping their white numbers in that design. The gold inclusion makes for an effective use of a third color -- looking at you, Jets -- and should continue to be in the rotation even after the Vikes' throwback look resurfaced this offseason.

Reminding of a world in which Warrant, Dokken and Ratt tracks were still in wide circulation into the 2000s (a timeline Johnny Lawrence would have appreciated), the Broncos' stirrups have passed their expiration date by several years. Radical when they first debuted, the Denver stirrups are playing out the string in 2023. The all-blues, however, are at least the cleanest part of Denver's outdated design. Until the Broncos finalize plans on a new scheme, we will still be treated to between seven and nine uses of their long-regrettable (and identity-betraying) all-whites. 

This is not a specific throwback, more like a throwback amalgam. And the Chargers' contemporary design eclipses this one. But it is somehow not a problem when the team suits up in these. This represents one of the NFL's best monochrome looks, featuring the reliable lightning-bolt gimmick. Rather than shoehorning in their unnecessary navy look, the Chargers should double the use of this alternate each season. 

The Vikings' homage to the Purple People Eaters years went off without a hitch in Week 1, the narrow loss notwithstanding. The NFL's purple champion did look better in its road attire of the era, but these -- with the sleeve stripe tying the look together -- bring an improvement on Minnesota's present home appearance. 

Giving the Broncos' Clemson-influenced design a run for its money for the NFL's largest orange dose, the Bengals were wise to incorporate this into their modern rotation. This Full Halloween kit offers just enough contrast, and it is arguably Cincy's best uniform. Even if you prefer the team's all-black home uni, it is inarguable the Bengals have improved drastically from their Ocho-Dalton-era design.

These deviate slightly from the Bobby Layne-era uniforms they are honoring, as the blue checks in with a lighter shade compared to the originals. A modified throwback, like the Chargers'. Rejuvenated after a 2017 uniform tweak, the Lions needed these throwbacks more during their Megatron years -- a uniform letdown that effectively mirrored the on-field product. But it is not unwelcome when Dan Campbell's team strips its modern look to basics.

Like the Chargers, the 49ers boast a better standard uniform than they do an alternate one. This Million Dollar Backfield-era design, which was also popularized by the 1994 Super Bowl-winning team morphing into a superpower upon dusting it off, resurfaced in 2021. The road version does not bring enough to the table, and while non-gold pants offer a degree of betrayal for the 49ers, the lighter-red tops save the day. 

Another reason the NFL looks better today than it did 15 years ago: the Bills ditching their horrid mess of a uniform. After forcing Drew Bledsoe to don that ugly and overly busy jersey, the Bills have given Josh Allen better options. This is one of the NFL's top red uniforms, and it pushes the blue-on-white design for Buffalo's best. 

The de-italicized Steelers lead the way in terms of this franchise's fashion offerings. Yes, the Steelers bear a striking resemblance to the Iowa Hawkeyes in these, this less-is-more approach offers a nice break from the italics the organization has leaned on since the Kordell Stewart days. Considering what the Steelers achieved when they originally wore these, they will never be unwelcome in Western Pennsylvania. 

Could a uniform's debut have ever gone worse for a team? The Jets are planning to wear these once more this season, but after the Aaron Rodgers disaster, will they follow through? This design might now be -- for Millennial and Gen Z fans, at least -- associated with a traumatic night. Moving past Rodgers' Achilles tear four plays into his Jets career, these are fantastic uniforms that never received enough praise due to the Joe Namath look producing a championship. Hopefully the '80s Jet can survive and move forward as a renewed part of the team's uni repertoire. 

It remains disappointing the Falcons have not dusted off their red jerseys since the NFL obligated them to do so for 1994's 75th-anniversary campaign of throwbacks. But the team deserves credit for making a uniform that featured frequent failures part of its modern rotation. The Falcons capitalized on the NFL loosening its helmet restrictions last year, and the Tommy Nobis-era uniform dazzled. And it even produced an upset win over the 49ers. Last season, these replaced the Deion Sanders-years throwback. Given the Falcons' current uniform situation, a season featuring both these and the 1990s look in circulation would help.

Giving the NFL an aqua introduction in the late 1960s, Miami did well to take this uniform out of storage in 2015. Sporting a superior logo and better use of their third color (along with a large name-plate font), the Dolphin throwbacks present the current team in the best light. 

Brand-wise, nothing will top the Raiders' iconic home uniform. But these wage a low-key battle to be Las Vegas' best. The Daryle Lamonica-years throwback has been in the Raiders' rotation since their final years in Oakland, and the silver numbers bring a nice change of pace for the team. It is worth wondering if a team exec suggested an all-silver alternate and needed to be reprimanded for doing so, considering some of the uniform developments in recent NFL annals, as this is the perfect use of the Raiders' second color.

The Broncos will go from emulating Clemson to following through with an Oklahoma State impression. This is the look on which the next Denver uniform should be based. Denver is supposed to be the NFL's orange headquarters, and the orange pants -- which had never been worn with an orange top before 2016 -- mark a nice update. This Broncos effort makes a good case as the NFL's best monochrome design, and while the social media-fueled snow/ice gimmick being attached to simple white helmets leave the final product lacking, it will be interesting to see the team shift away from the darker blue that has dominated its modern uniform.

The 1999 season saw a steep uniform downgrade take place, with the Oilers' beautiful blues morphing into a blander, overly complex Titans design. Although they joined the Broncos in booking a Super Bowl berth the year their they changed uniforms, the Titans were responsible for the death of an NFL classic. It will be a bit strange to see these uniforms resurface in Tennessee and not Houston, even though they did finish their run in multiple Tennessee stadiums. But it is good one AFC South organization will honor the Oilers. 

Other than the quiet elimination of gray pants, the Giants have not done anything wrong on the uniform front since they shifted to their vintage look back in 2000. (Even the oft-criticized red alternate of the 2000s did not cause too much trouble.) That change also brought an immediate Super Bowl berth. But this has always been the Giants' best uniform. After teasing the masses with the LT-era road whites for several years, the Giants took their 1990s home blues out of the closet. This showcases a lighter shade of blue and, like the Jets, offers a strong alternate logo.

It was not all bad for the Seahawks in these. Dave Krieg piloted them to four playoff berths in the 1980s, with the 1983 squad voyaging to the AFC championship game. But the team obviously did not reach its apex in them. But the shift to these nightmarish kits in 2002 represented an NFL fashion tragedy. While the Seahawks are well positioned on the fashion front now, they will give their underappreciated throwback some overdue play. The team's original design showcased their green -- a Seattle sports staple -- effectively, and the wraparound Seahawk set the standard for sleeve stripes in its day. Plus, the organization's 1990s tribute ran amok in unveiling these this summer.

It is a shame NFL fans could only enjoy these for 11 years. The Eagles' 1996 switch doubled as one of the most trigger-happy moments in uniform history. Philly brought these back at points this century, before the one-helmet rule squashed those efforts. It will be a delight to see the green-on-grays come back. Although the Eagles' championships occurred before and after the Kelly Green years, Randall Cunningham's primary NFL uniform remains iconic and will rightfully be introduced to a new generation of fans soon.

Mired in a dreadful stretch in the early 1990s, New England axed Pat the Patriot, burying the uniform for decades. The best uniform in franchise history sat unused for 30 years. Following the NFL's green light to use more than one helmet color last year, Pat returned, and the Patriots did well to mark the occasion with old-school end zones. It is unfortunate the team has continued to downgrade in uniform quality during its 1990s, 2000s and 2020s reboots, but at least fans will be seeing the popular snapping Patriot on helmets twice a year. 

Was there another option here? Like Pat the Patriot, Bucco Bruce was a scapegoat for on-field futility. The Buccaneers featured a far worse track record than the Patriots at that point, and they ditched the gorgeous yet polarizing creamsicles in 1997 -- a year that saw both the Bucs and Broncos complete transformative uniform overhauls. The Bucs brought back these kits during the 2010s but did not pull the trigger on them during Tom Brady's final season. Baker Mayfield and his teammates -- many of whom were not alive when the Bucs last used these regularly -- will have a chance to shine in them soon.