The best and worst commercials from Super Bowl LIII

One imagines that the advertising bigwigs at Colgate wanted to generate buzz for the new and improved Colgate Total toothpaste, and so they threw “Luke Wilson,” “close talking,” and “walking backwards” at the wall, and this is what came out. The commercial fails in the simplest, worst way—it tries to be funny, and isn’t. Wilson has charisma, and can be very funny in the right context, but this wasn’t it. Frankly, the ad would have hit the mark more with someone known for truly awkward humor. Given that it took place in an office, perhaps, I don’t know, Steve Carell would have been a better choice?

Best: Devour – Food Porn

There are two kinds of people in this world—those that love innuendos, no matter how over the top raunchy, and those that don’t. Pushing frozen dinners through the lens of an exasperated wife confronting her husband’s “strange” addiction, complete with plenty of porn tropes and clichés? That’s enough to tickle the fancy of innuendo lovers everywhere. Devour’s commercial was clever, pushed boundaries, and reveled in its fundamental absurdity. The “slamming laptop” moment in particular was very funny and perhaps hit a little too close to home for some of the viewing audience.

Best: Hyundai – The Elevator

Want to stand out from the crowd when it comes to car commercials? Having Jason Bateman play a dry, wisecracking elevator attendant sending passengers to various awful experiences—root canal and vegan dinner party, just to name a few—is a good start. The payoff was predictable, but this one was all about the journey, not the destination, though there was a nice Easter egg at the end. Overall, Hyundai’s effort here was a very pleasant surprise, particularly in light of how torturous many car ads have become in recent years.

Best: Michelob Ultra – The Pure Experience

Michelob decided to trot out a feast for ASMR lovers with Zoe Kravitz and a sensory explosion set in an exotic locale. It quickly became evident that the commercial wasn’t trying to do anything other than tingle the senses with pleasing sounds and visuals. The commercial was so effective that it actually made me want a Michelob Ultra, so, mission accomplished.

Best: Michelob Ultra – Robot

Two for two for Michelob Ultra, as they scored with an ad showing a robot dominating human beings at a variety of exercises, only to be left on the outside looking in, literally and figuratively, when the humans go into the bar for a beer. Given that the rise of AI has quickly moved from the stuff of science fiction to a real human concern, it was a nice change to see man triumph over machine, even in a light beer commercial.

Best: Pringles – Sad Device

What was it about this commercial that hit the mark? The soliloquy from the faux-Alexa smart speaker about the existential woe of machine life? The humorous level of disinterest from the humans in the room? Or was it as simple as the choice of song that one of the impatient Pringles-lovers commands the speaker to play? Yeah, it was that last one. “Play ‘Funkytown’,” is much funnier than just about any other song that could have been used in the situation. One of the night’s best.

Worst: Yellowtail – Tastes Like Happy

Yellowtail flopped last year with their party ad, and this one wasn’t much better, as it was too earnest, too lacking in any kind of clever moments, save a knowing wink from a woman on a good first date. One thing that Super Bowl commercials shouldn’t be is bland, but unfortunately, Yellowtail keeps missing the mark. Maybe wine is tough to make fun and less-refined, but certainly there has to be a better way to market casual party wine.

Best: Verizon – The Coach Who Wouldn’t Be Here

The cynic in me was prepared to put any Verizon first responders commercial in the worst category, given the telecommunications giant’s issues with data throttling for firefighters battling the California wild fires, but the raw emotional power of seeing Chargers head coach Anthony Lynn reunited with the first responders who saved his life was too much. The ground-level people being involved was too much to overlook the overarching corporate issues, which is a credit to the ad team that created the spot.

Best: M&M’s – Bad Passengers

This one did well at my watch party, mainly based on Christina Applegate’s overall appeal, and the fact that people enjoyed seeing the traditional M&M’s characters in a different context. The dialogue was clever, given that the commercial was for the new M&M’s candy bar. On a somewhat sobering note, realizing that Christina Applegate is old enough to play a middle-aged soccer mom was, well, surprising.

Worst: Olay – Killer Skin

The watch party I attended was not a fan of this concept, and while it drew some buzz when Olay leaked an ad prior to the game, it didn’t live up overall. The juxtaposition of slasher movie tropes being deployed to peddle a skin care product was funny in theory, but for one reason or another, this one seemed to fall flat. Social media reaction seemed mixed as well. Olay’s request for one million retweets from its followers, something that would cause them to leak the entire “movie,” netted, at last check, approximately 3,000 retweets. Not so great.

Best: Bud Light – Corn Syrup

Bud Light has been promoting that they would include an ingredients label on their beer, and they decided to double down on the concept with this thoroughly amusing ad, that included a great campfire line about the castle wizard. I appreciate that the ad folks at Anheuser-Busch were willing to include their competitors in the commercial, but I do wonder about whether or not consumers of mostly interchangeable light beer are concerned with whether or not that beer contains corn syrup. Frank Kaminsky of the Charlotte Hornets was unimpressed. 

Best: Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw  

What was happening here? Explosions, snappy one-liners, and The Rock, Jason Statham and Idris Elba all oozing charisma? Does that about cover it? There were also some snappy driving scenes. If you like the Fast and the Furious, you were already going to see this movie, but if you didn’t have a feeling one way or another about the franchise, you might have been swayed. Bonus points for the look on The Rock’s face as he casually jumps out the window of a skyscraper. 

Best: T-Mobile – Keep Things Brief/Whatever you want

We’ve all been on the wrong end of a “what’s up” text message that elicits an endless response of soul-baring endlessness. We’ve also all been stuck with a feeling of indecisiveness, not knowing what to send to a significant other, deleting, re-writing and deleting responses only to settle on something banal and uninteresting as the sent product. T-Mobile did a great job of capturing a situation that virtually everyone with a cell phone is familiar with, and packaging it into a simple, effective, entertaining commercial. 

Worst: Pepsi – More than OK 

Steve Carell, Cardi B and Lil Jon should have made for a slam-dunk commercial for Pepsi, but this one felt kind of forced, rushed, or just not particularly memorable. Lil Jon’s cameo was funny, Cardi B seemed game, and Carell delivered his lines with gusto, but something about this one left me wanting more. Considering the star power involved, Pepsi should have cooked up something better. 

Best: Audi – Cashew   

Everything about Audi’s electric car commercial was cool, if unspectacular, but for whatever reason, the completely incongruous payoff pushed this over the top. Being pulled from a futuristic sequence featuring a technologically advanced luxury car and placed back in a boring office setting and realizing that the protagonist was near death because he was choking on a cashew? The whole thing was a nice mix of actually putting a great looking vehicle on display, and adding in some theater of the absurd. 

Best: NFL – The 100-year game 

Tons of star power, Roger Goodell being somewhat tolerable, and the NFL’s biggest names past and present doing what they do best—hitting each other—while delivering some excellent quips along the way? The league has plenty of issues, but this commercial was a microcosm of why it will most likely persevere no matter what. The production value was off the charts, the direction was excellent, and the whole thing just seemed fun. If only the NFL could bottle this feeling all the time. Alas. 

Best: Kia – West Point, Georgia

This spot showcasing Kia’s luxury Telluride SUV focused on small-town values and humility, and struck a chord, for one reason or another. The idea that a foreign automaker’s vehicles are actually made in America is a common selling point, and a tired cliché for commercials, but this one hit the mark. The pacing was good, the visuals good, and the deliberate contrast of small-town auto plant workers and big-city Atlanta was perfect. 

Best: Amazon – Hanna 

Parkour, car stunts, and a badass female lead beating the unholy tar out of people? Not all commercials of this ilk are created equal, but this one was terrific and perfectly captured the tone of what viewers can hope the series will be. Sign me up. 

Best: Bud Light – Game of Thrones – Joust  

The one-liner about not having the plague anymore was a good start, but the sudden pivot from beer commercial to teaser for the final season of “Game of Thrones” put this one over the top. There was an homage to one of the series’ most infamous, grisly deaths, a fire-breathing dragon, and the Bud Light knight toe-tagged and dead at the end of the ad. A commercial that marries light beer and “Game of Thrones” combines two of America’s favorite things, and this spot delivered the goods. 

Best: Budweiser – Wind Never Felt Better 

Bob Dylan’s “Blowin in the Wind,” beautiful imagery, an eco-friendly message, and the return of the Clydesdales? It was minimalist, sure, but the King of Beers scored a winner with this spot. It probably wasn’t to the liking of some, but for traditionalists, this might have been the best spot of the entire night. 

Best: Stella Artois – Carrie Bradshaw and The Dude  

Two beloved characters turning heads and breaking dishware in a restaurant by eschewing their favored iconic drinks in favor of a Stella Artois? That’s extremely effective marketing for the beer, and a return to the screen for two icons. This commercial hit all the right notes, and Jeff Bridges’ intentional butchering of the brand’s name was the perfect capping touch. 

Worst: Amazon – Not Everything Makes the Cut

I don’t know, this commercial had it all for most folks. Lots of laughs, lots of popular tie-ins, lots of clever dialogue, plus a dog with attitude. I don’t know what it is, and maybe this says more about me than anything, but this one just got too cute. Or maybe I’m frustrated that my Alexa-controlled lamp doesn’t always work the way I want it to. Either way, everyone else at my Super Bowl party liked this one, but I had precious little tolerance for it.