Why this year's Super Bowl won't be worth watching

This Sunday, the New England Patriots will face the Philadelphia Eagles in Super Bowl LII. If the Pats win, it'll be their sixth Lombardi Trophy (tying them with the Pittsburgh Steelers for most ever), whereas an Eagles victory would make Philadelphia champions for the first time ever in the Super Bowl era. Regardless of what happens, history will be made… and it won't be worth your time. Here's why.

For starters, neither team is very well liked. That goes without saying when it comes to the Patriots – depending on who you ask, they are either the most hated team in America, or very close to it. A combination of consistently winning by any means necessary (lol remember Spygate and Deflategate?), and a quarterback that invites ridicule (Tom Brady is probably the quarterback GOAT, but he's plugged Uggs and dubious alternative medical treatment) makes it very easy to hate this team. Philadelphia isn't any better.

The city of Philadelphia is known for a handful of things: the Liberty Bell, the Rocky movies (and by extension, the Philadelphia Museum of Art), cheesesteaks, and trash Eagles fans. Philly supporters are trash in real life—during this postseason, there were multiple stories of Eagles fans punching police horses, and in the past, they threw snowballs at Santa – and in fiction – "Silver Linings Playbook" and "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" both prove that if you're looking to be assaulted, all you need to do is go to an Eagles tailgate.

If the prospect of witnessing a terrible fanbase be rewarded with a Super Bowl victory isn't enough of a deterrent, then perhaps the fact that you'll basically be watching history repeat itself will stop you from tuning in. The last time the Eagles went to the Super Bowl (XXXIX in 2005), they played the Patriots. And like last time, Philly went in with a 13-3 regular season record, a top notch defense (led by Pro Bowlers Lito Sheppard and Brian Dawkins), and a star player with a severe injury (this year: quarterback Carson Wentz; 2005: Terrell Owens, who ended up playing). And like in 2005, the Patriots fielded a questionable defense. In 2005, the Patriots won by a field goal. In 2018, Vegas has New Englands as favorites by four points. Even the halftime musical performance choice is causing deja vu. Justin Timberlake, this year's pick, is a repeat performer (albeit, he played in 2004, not 2005). Time really is a flat circle.

And then there's the politics. We are currently living in one of the most polarizing times in our history, and far from being the exception, football has been at the front and center of it all as a result of the season-long campaign by several NFL players to kneel during the national anthem to raise awareness of social inequality and police brutality, and the claim by conservative fans that the peaceful protests are disrespectful to the military (they're not). As we saw last week, when the NFL rejected an ad by an advocacy group for veterans asking fans to stand during "The Star-Spangled Banner," that politicultural fight isn't going away during the Super Bowl, the biggest night of the year for the sport. That's especially true when you take into account that both the Eagles and the Pats are proxies for both sides. Several Eagles players were key figures in the early days of the national anthem protests, and the Patriots will forever be linked to Donald Trump thanks to his personal friendships with Robert Kraft, Tom Brady, and Bill Belichick.

Look, even if you're not a fan of either team, or of the sport for that matter, I get the compulsion to want to watch the Super Bowl. It's a worldwide cultural phenomenon, and not partaking in it is a surefire way to invite FOMO (fear of missing out). It's a tradition, like the Oscars or the Grammys. But you won't be missing much; both teams are trash and the Pats are going to win (probably). And if you're only watching for the commercials, remember that they'll be on YouTube immediately after.