Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic at Tannavice

VINDALOO – 6/10 – Slap happy for a while early on, punching anything within range – fortunately for United forwards, mostly the ball… – but doing it well and cleanly. Showed a fine, strong right hand to make his only, and
impressive, save of the day. Looks cool enough to meet his first real test of aesthetic tolerance next Sunday.

GREGGS THE BAKER – 6.5/10 – Does seem to bring some assurity on the left if not the athleticism Schlupp offers. Tactically useful as well, given Gregg’s a veteran of the Ange inversion The Brodge has adopted. Balanced out well with AJ roaming down the right today. Keep him I say, if possible – trophy count does not belie his contributions; as an organiser, and will offer a complimentary style to the rampaging KT.

WAYNE GRETZKY – 7/10 – Tortured them down the right side once he’d muzzled and neutered former Zombie dog Middlemarch, their most dangerous wide-man. It was The Moose doing the wing play from the half hour mark, culminating in a precise dink to lay on the fourth, among many other adventurous forays.

OF JUSTICE – 7/10 – Reliable Liam just slots back into that central defence like the magazine in CCV’s Desert Eagle. Was on-point to defy the Arabs’ opening pressure, and as we began to dominate there’s no better at Celtic Park to step out of the back with the ball at his feet to inflict damage with his cultured left. Ironically it was the coppertop which stole the headlines today with his useful nodded assist for the first goal.

GET CARTER – 6.5/10 – Sturdy as she goes – combating Sam Dolby Stereo to thwart their aerial ambitions occupied him for the opening quarter. Once the main United goal threat was tamed, it was easy street for the
big mhan who will no doubt have been saving himself for tonight’s celebratory Wunderbar expedition.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…