Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v The King Herod Select

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 5/10 – Wonder-save in the Schmeichel mould, then a blunder-save in the creaking-limbs category; although I’ll NOTE THIS: it looked bad in real-time BUT on replay you see the wicked spin off the Trusty studs – terrible dilemma for the keeper and one only really saveable by a young gun able to adjust with lightning reaction speed. Kasper ain’t that, but the blame is not his to shoulder for the capitulation.

TONY THE TIGER – 4/10 – For heaven’s sake, Tony – it was all going almost so Zombie-smashingly well, even after an equaliser, then you and Calmac make the sort of dithering mess-up from a shy that is normally covered… Yet here we are stretched to the limit at the back and NO covering player was there to stop theie overpriced lumbering gimp galloping straight to goal. And Tony’s not the player you want pushed high; he’s there to crack skulls and hold the fort.

KATIE – 5/10 – Greatly effective first-half – like everyone else, really – then fallible all second as his engine deficiencies showed and their pace exploited the space KT was unable to patrol adequately.

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 2/10 – Oh, fhs. Of course he was due a bad game after being our most consistent and reliable performer for two months solid. Just that nobody saw it coming today. And when your main central defender – your ONLY central defender – in such a system has a ‘mare, then it really is Keystone Cops calamity. Skinned by poison hobbit for equaliser, absolutely, mentally, escorted Cherrypippy all the way through for their second, and applied the spin-bowler finesse to skim the third past Kasper after his lunge was too little, too late. His nightmare became ours. There’s nothing like sharing…

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