Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – The Forbidden Zone v Celtic

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6/10 – Poor Kasper. The ghost of Xmas past made the visit last week – blown WC QF at home, humiliated at Hampdump, then topped-off with a visit to Paisley. Charles Dickens would have shied-off writing that one. So he handled himself, and the ball, pretty well, nailed his distribution with some sweet half-volleys and generally – as part of a solid defensive unit – might have found some solace or redemption in the
murky darkness of Scotland’s Stranger Things town. Or probably not.

TONY THE TIGER – 5.5/10 – The architect of Scotland’s World Cup qualification still has the mental reserves to face a Paisley visit days after his Hampden triumph. What’s that, you say – Tony didn’t kick a ball? So? Imagine the influence The Brickie has that his country performs a once-in-a-generation feat and just his very presence was enough to manifest it. THAT is AURA, kids. As for tonight, he struggled with the rest to force the game higher, being tied up arresting their physicality; which he did well enough. Still put the shift in, as always.

KATIE – 6.5/10 – National HERO. Had Beckham phoning up for an autograph. More bend on that than happy hour in Bennetts, if you know what I mean, old-school Glaswegians…And back to basics for KT on the tough turf of the OK Corral. But he stood up to the psychological shift from glory to gloryhole; was stoic at the back and trouble in attack. One of our better performers.

OF JUSTICE – 6/10 – Single-headedly put Ireland in the playoffs; shrines to the Holy Virgin will be revamped to Ginger Baresi tribute temples across the Emerald Isle if they make it all the way to inevitable death by sunburn next summer. Tested well tonight, forced into plenty of combat by the sheer size of the lumps they threw forward. Took a moment to further rip the phish out of Kasper by poking it past him for yuks. All-round, kept cool as the midfield and forwards turned over the ball far too many times.

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 6/10 – On his heels with Liam but put in another admirable 90 minutes with a proper test of his toughness against their powerful forward units. Damn lefties and their imbalance…

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