Tales of the Shire New on Steam but May be an Overlooked Game

The game borrows from life-sim staples, offering peaceful activities like gardening, cooking, and home-building. Unfortunately, calling these activities “barebones” would be generous. Here are the big-ticket mechanics and where they falter.

1. Fishing

Fishing in the game deserves its own special mention—for all the wrong reasons. You can fish, but don’t expect any surprises when you reel in the same two or three kinds of fish over and over again. Even after finally unlocking a new fishing rod, the experience remains as shallow as a summer puddle in Mordor.

2. Farming

Like farming? Great, because in “Tales of the Shire,” you’ll be doing a lot of it. Cultivate a limited selection of crops, wait out some incredibly slow grow cycles, and brace yourself for that thrilling reward of… another monotonously similar harvest.

3. Cooking

Cooking minigames are supposed to be fun, right? Well, the system here serves as the game’s main progression point, forcing you to grind for ingredients. While slightly more substantial than fishing, it still doesn’t have the kind of depth a Gandalf-approved, second breakfast simulator should offer.

Performance Woes

If you thought Gollum was the most frustrating thing to come out of Middle-earth, you haven’t played this game. On PC, graphics glitches and frame dips mar what’s meant to be a tranquil experience. Add crashes every few hours, and it becomes the digital equivalent of stumbling through Shelob’s Lair with zero elven rope.

Where “Tales of the Shire” Does Shine (Sort Of)

To its credit, the game nails the aesthetics of the Shire. The art direction feels painterly and heavily inspired by Tolkien’s descriptions, so at the very least, your in-game surroundings are picturesque. Additionally, the interactions between hobbit NPCs are occasionally amusing and peppered with moments of humor—but the lack of voice acting makes these moments feel a little lifeless.

Is It Worth the Trip to Bywater?

Look, the fantasy of life as a Shire-dwelling hobbit sounds tempting for anyone who’s binged the “Lord of the Rings” extended editions. But that dream can’t survive shallow mechanics, lackluster progression, and technical hiccups. It’s like they set out to serve up a hearty bowl of Lembas bread and instead delivered day-old toast with no butter.

With “Tales of the Shire” now on Steam, it might just be worth snagging during a deep discount if you’re a completionist or insanely curious. For everyone else? Save your coin for a title that respects your time and possibly gives you more than three kinds of fish to collect.

If you’d rather avoid the grind and chaos, “Stardew Valley” or “Animal Crossing” may better scratch that cozy-game itch. More options, fewer bugs, and a lot more meaningful gameplay await you elsewhere.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go recover from another game-breaking crash.