Past and present Kansas City Chiefs players as Taylor Swift's 'Life of a Showgirl' tracks

A new Taylor Swift album means it's time to have some fun. The singer released "The Life of a Showgirl," which includes 12 songs. So with that, we decided it was the perfect opportunity to assign them to Chiefs players.

But here's how we're going to do it. There's going to be one player assigned to each simply based on the name of the song that was picked prior to the album being released.

So, let's get into it.

The Fate of Ophelia

QBAlex Smith

In 2018, the Chiefs traded away quarterback Alex Smith after having drafted Patrick Mahomes the year prior. It was clear that Kansas City decided that Mahomes was their future, while turning away from Smith, which is just like when Ophelia was rejected by Hamlet.

Elizabeth Taylor

DTChris Jones

An unpredictable star defender, you never quite know what Chris Jones has up his sleeve, just like Elizabeth Taylor's next move was always a question. He also has a commanding presence on the Chiefs' defense just like Elizabeth Taylor did in everything she starred in.

Opalite

OTJosh Simmons

Opalite is a stone that symbolizes transformation and new beginnings, and with Josh Simmons, he came in and completely transformed the Chiefs' offense.

Father Figure

Head Coach Andy Reid

Every day, Andy Reid speaks to his players, praising them for the things they do well, while also disciplining them when they don't perform to his standard. He's the father figure of the Chiefs, as he's in charge.

Eldest Daughter

LB Nick Bolton

Nick Bolton is someone who might not always get all the credit in each and every game, but as a linebacker, he's tasked with cleaning up messes to help the defense. And as an eldest daughter, they might have to clean everything up but not get the credit.

Ruin the Friendship

WRTyreek Hill

During the 2022 offseason, Tyreek Hill left the Chiefs in pursuit of more money when he could have made the option to take a pay cut and stay with Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce, continuing to contribute to the dynasty the Chiefs were building.

Actually Romantic

JuJu Smith-Schuster

While he didn't have success with his past team, the minute he came to the Chiefs, he immediately started to excel once again. So his connection with Patrick Mahomes can easily be described as actually romantic

Wi$h Li$t

WR Xavier Worthy

In the 2024 NFL Draft, the Kansas City Chiefs selected receiver Xavier Worthy in the first round after he ran the fastest 40-yard dash ever at the NFL combine. So, for Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, it's clear the "fastest man alive," as he's become known, would be pretty high on their drafting wish list. And it came true!

Wood

Hollywood Brown

When the song title is in the player's name, it's just too easy.

CANCELED!

Rashee Rice

Rashee Rice received a six-game suspension before the 2025 season for violating the NFL’s personal conduct policy. This came after he was sentenced to five years of probation and 30 days of jail time following a multi-car crash on Dallas’ North Central Expressway last year. Rice made a mistake, but people continue trying to make him look like the villain even though he's accepted it and is dealing with the consequences.

Honey

Travis Kelce

If you watched "Happy Gilmore 2," then this one will make a lot of sense.