Celtics HC Joe Mazzulla is watching ‘The Town’ too much

The first-year Celtics coach credits the 2010 Ben Affleck film, where he and a group of buddies from Charlestown rob banks,  armored cars and Fenway Park, with a mentality he wants to impart to his team. 

Specifically the line, “Whose car are we taking?”

That line comes when Affleck asks Jeremy Renner to come with him to beat some strangers nearly to death. Renner takes it a step further and shoots one of them in the leg.

It’s a good metaphor for this Celtics team, who are, like Affleck and his crew, a very talented, cohesive unit that often falls apart in big moments. 

Renner recklessly takes a bank manager hostage in “The Town”; Jayson Tatum travels on consecutive possessions late in the 4th quarter.

Malcolm Brogdon told GQ the film reflected the Celtics’ “ride or die” mentality, where they’ll all do things together. Perhaps that’s why when Jaylen Brown turns the ball over six times, Tatum turns it over four times. Maybe Mazzulla’s next sweatshirt should read, “Whose car is Jimmy Butler stealing?”

After all, in the film that “ride or die” mentality (spoiler alert!) gets almost everyone killed!

“The Town” ends with a disastrous attempted heist at Fenway Park, the Red Sox’s home ballpark that leaves most of the crew dead. The Celtics aren’t doing much better at TD Garden, where they’re 11-11 the last three postseasons, including two losses in the Finals.

The other issue? “The Town” is over two hours long! How does an NBA coach have that much free time? 

Mazzulla needs to spend more time reviewing game film of Butler and less time listening to Blake Lively butcher a Boston accent.

Ultimately, the lesson of “The Town” is that it’s hard to escape your life, and the mistakes of your past continue to haunt you. These Celtics have trouble escaping the Eastern Conference Finals, where their season has ended four of the last six years.

No matter what their mentality is, if they let Miami score 40+ points in a quarter again, making ten three-pointers for a game isn’t going to cut it. Like Affleck’s crew surrounded by cops at Fenway, the Celtics are going to have to shoot their way out.