2020s vision: Predicting next 10 Super Bowl champs (Guaranteed!)

2022-23: Ravens over Pigskins

The Ravens win the AFC Championship Game against Tennessee, despite a Lamar Jackson concussion, as backup QB Colin Kaepernick rushes for 100 yards. Jackson finally breaks through with his first Super Bowl title, though Skip Bayless, appearing on "First Take" in hologram form after a devastating treadmill accident, dismisses the achievement, since it took him until his 26th birthday to finally win the big one. In the Super Bowl, Jackson survives the furious pass rush of regular-season MVP Chase Young of the renamed Washington Pigskins, who immediately shot back into contention when the NFL forced Daniel Snyder to sell the team to Jeff Bezos. Amazon cash lures many free agents, but the Ravens cement their reputation as Maryland’s favorite team with the Super Bowl win, and coach John Harbaugh retires after the game to open a chain of sports bars with his brother, Jim, called “Harbros,” which is like Buffalo Wild Wings with 35 varieties of milk on draft.

OFFSEASON HEADLINES

• Aaron Rodgers retires; immediately signs with ESPN.
• Kaepernick retires; signs with The Nation.
• Earl Thomas retires.
• Christian McCaffrey signs with Jets.
• Joey Bosa signs with Cincinnati.
• Baker Mayfield retires after taking 130 sacks his first five seasons; Browns draft Alabama QB Bryce Young, fire coach Kevin Stefanski.

2023-24: Bengals over 49ers

When Joey Bosa returns to Ohio, he brings some hope back to the Bengals, who have been slowly rebuilding around QB Joe Burrow. Bosa and Sam Hubbard make a terrifying pass rush combo, and Najee Harris, the former Alabama star, dominates out of the backfield. In the third Super Bowl matchup between the 49ers and Bengals, dubbed the “Bosa Bowl,” George Kittle ties Jerry’s Rice’s Super Bowl record with three TD receptions, but the 49ers fall short when Cousins throws two fourth-quarter interceptions. A despondent Kyle Shanahan chides himself for not running the ball enough, again.

OFFSEASON HEADLINES

• Tua Tagovailoa fails physical with Dolphins; moves on to New Orleans Saints.
• Julio Jones signs with New England.
• Cam Newton, Von Miller, Pete Carroll retire.

2024-25: Patriots over Lions

73-year-old Bill Belichick finally wins a ring without Brady, leading the Patriots to a 22-17 victory over Lawrence and the Lions -- Detroit’s first-ever Super Bowl. Garoppolo wins Super Bowl MVP despite Belichick switching to Pop Warner’s single-wing offense from 1907 in the second half, befuddling the Lions defense and killing the clock. Belichick retires after the game and celebrates by smiling for 15 straight seconds. In the NFC Championship Game, the Lions get past the Saints when one of the NFL’s new android line judges malfunctions and denies Tua a first down on a key fourth-down rush.  

OFFSEASON HEADLINES

• Belichick retires.
• Nick Bosa signs with Arizona.
• Russell Wilson retires.
• Seahawks draft QB Sam Huard No. 1.
• 49ers draft QB Caleb Williams second.

2025-26: Chiefs over Cowboys

Mahomes gets his third ring, as the emotional Chiefs win the Super Bowl inspired by Reid, who was injured piling on after a Kansas City TD during the playoffs. (Coaches take full advantage of NFL allowing them to celebrate on TDs.) The sixth-seeded Chiefs rally behind interim coach Eric Bieniemy, who had been passed over for head coach interviews for five straight years. In the NFC title game, Sean McVay’s Cowboys win in OT against the New York Giants, who turn their season around by moving veteran running back Saquon Barkley to QB full time. Meanwhile, the Las Vegas Raiders finally make the playoffs, but Jon Gruden is despondent after he bets a year’s salary on his own team at the stadium sports book and it fails to cover the spread against the Jets in Round 1.

OFFSEASON HEADLINES

• Jerry Jones fires McVay; replaces him with Tony Romo.
• QB Cody Shelton goes No. 1 to Buffalo; endures a career of “Buffalo Bill Cody” puns in headlines.
• NFL adds options for one-, two-, and three-point conversion tries after touchdown.
• Odell Beckham retires.
• Matt Ryan retires.
• John Elway’s Broncos draft QB Brock Vandagriff, because adding a tall QB named Brock worked great for them the first time.

2026-27: Cardinals over Chargers

In their final year in Los Angeles before moving to Mexico City, the L.A. Chargers fall just short of a title. Former Heisman winner Kedon Slovis leads a stellar Chargers passing attack to the Bowl, thanks also to the Defensive Player of the Year, Kayvon Thibodeaux. But Kyler Murray and the explosive Arizona offense, coordinated by head coach Blake Bortles, are too much, and they win the Cardinals’ first title in 80 years. Down eight points in the fourth quarter, Murray runs for a TD and follows up with a three-point run from the 15-yard line, in the first year of the NFL’s expanded extra point rules.

OFFSEASON HEADLINES

• Teddy Bridgewater signs with Minnesota.
• Ravens draft QB Cameron Edge to replace the retired Jackson.
• Bills move four home games to Toronto.

2027-28: Vikings over Chiefs

It took only 58 years, but the Minnesota Vikings finally get revenge for their Super Bowl IV loss to the Chiefs and win their first Bowl in five tries. Super Bowl MVP Thaddeus Moss catches a last-second TD from new/old Vikings QB Bridgewater to hold off a furious Chiefs rally. The NFL eliminates kickoffs entirely this season for safety reasons, replacing it with an American Ninja Warrior-style obstacle course the kickers run through to determine starting field position. In his final season, the Rams' Aaron Donald racks up 9.5 sacks to beat Bruce Smith’s all-time record (200) by just half a sack.

OFFSEASON HEADLINES

• Nick Bosa returns to 49ers.
• Jared Goff retires.
• Donald retires.
• Dolphins draft NFL’s first female placekicker in the seventh round.

2028-29: 49ers over Jets

Stephen Belichick, Bill’s son, takes an underdog 49ers team to the Super Bowl in his first year as the team’s head coach, after close playoff losses and the constant roller coaster noise from playing next to an amusement park cause Shanahan needed to take a mental health break. The returned Bosa anchors the 49ers’ stellar defense, and veteran San Francisco QB Jameis Winston throws just 18 interceptions all season, proving he’s finally settled down. Meanwhile, the Jets cruise through the AFC playoffs thanks to the infusion of cash they get when former President Mike Bloomberg buys the team. But the team loses hope in the Super Bowl after it sees its own reflection and realizes it is not the New York Jets.

OFFSEASON HEADLINES

• Browns draft QB Nevan Tutterow No. 1.
• Hollywood Brown retires.

2029-30: Steelers over 49ers

The Steelers’ patience in keeping Mike Tomlin as head coach is rewarded when he wins his second Super Bowl. The game comes down to a roughing the passer call on Bosa against Steelers veteran QB Tagovailoa with time running out; a 54-yard field goal by 40-year-old Justin Tucker wins it. Pundits immediately credit the Steelers’ internal development system and refusal to splurge on free agents for getting the team back to the Promised Land after a quick 21-year rebuild. Also, the NFL officially bans anti-gravity boots this season.

OFFSEASON HEADLINES

• Mexico City Chargers draft QB Gunner Rivers, Philip’s son, with No. 1 pick.
• Lawrence retires, becomes sheep farmer in the Scottish Highlands.
• NFL’s first “underwater game” in old, now-flooded Hard Rock Stadium is a disaster, ends in scoreless tie.