Honoring Old Cowboys — Tips For Timeless Care

With cracked leather stirrups and tarnished buckles, it’s easy to hide away old saddles in the barn. Too old to travel and too fragile to ride, we may bring them out for guests on special occasions. Their scars tell stories that we’ve long since forgotten about wins, losses, and adventures untold about hooking bulls, zipped loops, quick ties, rivers crossed, and racing the herd to the thicket. Now and then, a ray of sunlight slips through the barnwood and warms the seat again. If we’re lucky enough, the glimmer reflected from a buckle catches our eye, and we remember. For a moment, we recall the horse we were on, the smell in the air, the sun on our skin, and who rode with us. Then, the voice of urgency in our day calls us back to the task at hand, and we move on.

It can be that way with old cowboys, too. As their step slows, their posture weakens, and their strength fades, it gets harder for them to keep up. Eventually, they’ll fall into seclusion if we let them. Don’t let them. If you are a caregiver to an old cowboy, here are some ideas that will help you make them feel vibrant and relevant well into their senior years.

Tips For Timeless Care

• Get access to their phone or computer before you can’t anymore.
• Offer hope. Give them something to look forward to.
• Find ways to tell them “yes” to things that they want to do.
• Help them reflect and remember the positives of their life.
• Learn the history of their family or ranch.
• Chase sunsets. Find beauty in daily life.
• Ask advice, even on things you think you know the answer to. It makes them feel important, significant, and useful.
• Let them help you or watch you work on the farm or ranch from a position of safety.
• Cheer them on to encourage them to complete small tasks where you may get frustrated at how slow they’re moving (ex.- buttoning shirt buttons). Try not to do it for them unless they ask you for help.
• Empower them to do “farm” things with you when they’re up to it.
• Swing on porch swings.
• Sit by fire pits.
• Invite them to check fences or the herd with you as you drive through the pasture.
• Sharpen their knife, cut cedar sticks, and let them whittle.
• If they’re still driving, help them with vehicle registration, oil changes, and maintenance.
• If the ranch has an ATV or side-by-side available, keep it fueled and accessible to them.
• Ask them about gardening and food preservation techniques.
• Ask them how to hunt, trap, clean, and cook wild game.
• Ask them how they survived the “hard times.”
• Give them an opportunity to wear their cowboy hat.
• If they do physical therapy at home, don’t watch. Let them fight for themselves in dignity and without fear of failure or embarrassment. Then, find opportunities to compliment them on their strength, endurance, flexibility, or mobility at a time that is far removed from their physical therapy session.
• If they have tremors, offer them something light to hold (ex. - a walking stick or cane).
• Feed, water, and shelter their horse, dog, or cat. That’s probably their best friend and they might forget.
• If they are the patriarch of the ranch, quietly help them to restore it to when it made them most proud. Cut/remove fallen trees or tree limbs that keep them from seeing what they’ve accomplished.
• Clean up old barns.
• Help them to clean out cabinets with old medicines, potions, lotions, and snake oils.
• Get them Skechers Slip-In shoes so that they can put on their shoes by themselves.
• Consider getting them a Smartwatch that has a fall-detection feature. It can be set to automatically alert emergency services and their emergency contact.
• Prepare ahead for 911 calls by having the address clearly marked and visible with clearance for an ambulance or fire truck. Gate codes should be communicated in the 911 call.
• Create opportunities to surround them with family. At family events, create moments to gather around them, share stories and memories, and edify them in gratitude for what they’ve meant to the family.
• Go with them on walks.
• Be patient with them.
• Be present and listen to them.
• If they are hard of hearing, find ways to continue to include them in conversations. Otherwise, they can be in a room full of family and feel alone in silence. There are smartphone apps that will translate voice-to-text so that they can read what is being said from their phone.
• Pray that God gives you grace, mercy, and peace to increase your patience with them.
• Go to church services together, whether in person or online.
• Ask them what’s the biggest thing that they’ve ever seen God do.
• Ask them how they came to know Jesus Christ. If one or neither of you know, read the book of Romans in the Bible together. It’ll tell you what you need to know.

Of course, there’s much more to serving as a caregiver than this, but old cowboys require a different type of care. As caregivers to old cowboys, our goal is to help them ride out the rest of their journey with their freedom, independence, and the love of their family. Let’s help them finish with their head held high and steady them for a graceful dismount.

“My heroes have always been cowboys. And they still are, it seems. Sadly, in search of and one step in back of themselves and their slow movin’ dreams.” ~ Willie Nelson, “My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys”

Let's honor our patriarchs of the cowboy culture by putting these tips for timeless care into practice. Start now. Be consistent. Be persistent. Ask questions. Get guidance. Follow through. For a more comprehensive list of strategies and ideas for caring for seniors, check out AARP’s Caregiver Basics.