In the wide world of skiing, topsheets—and their colorful variance—are a constant. Ski companies use them to communicate a fine-tuned visual identity and, above all, stand out from the crowd. The hope is to ensure your skis aren’t lost in an already crowded marketplace. But you can’t get too crazy. That customer looking for an all-mountain ski they can take on their annual winter vacation? They probably don’t want to ride something too intense, and unless you’re the brand angling for the opposite clientele who prefers more dramatic topsheets, you’ll want to consider their tastes.
The point is, getting a topsheet right takes a lot from a visual and market perspective. Tasteful, subdued, bombastic, loud—there are a lot of ways to skin this cat, but, as a brand, getting it right is essential. This summer, though, ON3P is saying screw all that with their Worst Topsheet Ever Contest held on the Newschoolers forums. For several years running, the ski company has asked the internet to get creative and ugly, with the winners receiving a real-life, skiable version of their foul creations.
Last year, the winning lineup included:
In 2022, one winning pair crammed in an astounding number of gauche visuals: a fish smoking a cigarette, Peppa Pig crossed with a nightmarish demon, Elmo.
A funny thing happens when you ask people to compete and do something poorly—they start finding ways to get really good at being really bad. To use a hypothetical: if I hosted a competition where skiing with the worst form possible was the goal, the winners would produce something genuinely athletic, like Donny Pelletier’s so-bad-it’s-good on-snow approach. Blasting through moguls in the backseat isn’t easy, nor is crafting a topsheet that’s truly worse than the other contenders.
That’s the magic of the Worst Topsheet Ever Contest. Yes, the winning skis wouldn’t fly off the shelves at a big box outdoor retailer, but they’re flawlessly executed and, dare I say, boundary-pushing. No executive in their right mind would sign off on a pair of skis that look like fingers or feature Peppa Pig, but thanks to ON3P, those questionable dreams are a reality.
Submissions for the Worst Topsheet Ever Contest are open until July 11th. Follow this link to get all the details. In the words of ON3P, “We cordially invite you to do your Worst.”
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