USMNT Icon Landon Donovan Shares Harrowing Depression Story- 'Wanted to End It'

Everybody says the footballer’s life is glamorous and they are set for ever, although this might have some truth, there is a reality that every recognizable athlete goes through in their career.

During a recent interview with Men’s Health magazine, Landon Donovan, USMNT legend, discussed his depression and how he overcame it with drugs.

Amid his break from retirement in 2013, the US striker traveled to Cambodia to avoid being recognized and rest in what could be considered a solo retreat.

The trip consisted of taking two planes, a three-hour car ride along lunar roads, and a boat to reach his final destination, Song Saa - meaning he traveled 8,000 miles just to escape from the physical and mental exhaustion he was feeling.

“That was an existential threat”: Donovan on his darkest moment

His loneliness event took him to a dark place, and Donovan thought of ending his life every time he closed his eyes. “That was an existential threat”, said the former LA Galaxy star, while also adding:

“It was drug-induced. I hallucinated, and when I would open my eyes, I saw frogs, lizards, and worms. When I closed my eyes, my brain was telling me, just go jump off the cliff into the ocean and end it.”

Once he realized what he was about to do, his own self took over and started questioning his decisions. That’s where Landon Donovan discussed the crucial role of meditation:

“So I was in this tussle of do I keep my eyes open? Do I close my eyes? Eventually, my brain said, Oh, this is what’s going on. Come back to the breath. That’s what I had practiced so many times in meditation.”

Adding, “And that was the exact reason why you meditate so that you see what’s all going on. That’s not you. You’re back here present. It saved my life.”