Bryce Harper’s Contract Is Going To Be The Biggest In Sports History

With one and two-thirds seasons left before Bryce Harper becomes a free agent, the contract chatter is picking up. Last week it was his reported interest in becoming a Cub, and today it’s an anonymous American League GM saying: “Four hundred million is light. It’s going to be more than that. If you could sign him to a 15-year contract, you do it. I would say something in the range...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
June 06, 2017

Max Scherzer Is Better Than Ever In This One Particular Way

The last thing I saw last night before falling asleep was Max Scherzer stalking off the mound after disposing of another random Giant. And the first thing I saw this morning was an ESPN alert saying he went the distance in a 3-1 victory. It was his “16th career game with 10+ K and 0 BB.” Sixteen! Scherzer has been incredible since signing that $210 million deal with the Nats before...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
June 01, 2017

The Caps Fan’s Guide To Navigating Penguins Vs. Predators

Here to help you navigate this “very Capsy” Stanley Cup final is our very own Caps correspondent, Brad Parker. Late Saturday morning it was already about 92 degrees in Madrid and the streets were packed with thousands of fans in the blue and white jerseys of Alavés, and hundreds in the red and blue of Barcelona. You’ve heard of Barcelona, and players like Messi and Neymar and Luis...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 29, 2017

Mr. I Pod: I’m Rooting For Pittsburgh, At Least Tonight

Game 7. Pens-Sens. We’re (or at least I’m) rooting for Pittsburgh tonight. Hear why on today’s episode of the Mr. Irrelevant podcast, which is a thing. If you’d like to do this again, subscribe to the Mr. I pod on Bumpers, or on iTunes or Stitcher if you like.
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 25, 2017

Bob Marley’s Grandson Is Now A Very Tiny Redskins Linebacker

Jah! Redskinfari! Sorry, couldn’t resist. Even Keim’s making jokes. Anyway, undrafted and super-undersized Tulane linebacker Nico Marley (son or Rohan, grandson of Bob) is now with the Redskins. Here he is yesterday, making it Instagram-official. Exciting! The thing is, Nico, like Bob, who stood 5-7, is tiny. From minicamp last weekend, Mike Jones (who?) reported: Whether intentional...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 17, 2017

We Love Matt Albers, But This Doesn’t End Well

For a good read on a bad bullpen, read Thomas Boswell’s latest, which includes this depressingness: Nats followers delighted in the trade that brought Mark Melancon to the District at the trade deadline last August. But who did they trade? Felipe Rivero, 25, who has a 0.87 ERA in 20 games for the Pirates, is touching 100 mph and looks like just what the Nats need now as a setup man...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 15, 2017

Ted Leonsis Laments The Caps ‘Heartbreak’ While Some Of His Free Agents Move Forward

Ted Leonsis, four days removed from appearing to be enjoying himself at the expense of Penguins fans, let his thoughts about the latest Capitals disappointment be known. He called the Game 7 loss “heartbreaking” in a post on Ted’s Take: I try not to lose sight of the incredible performances we witnessed between October and early April. But the playoffs, while incredibly exciting...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 12, 2017

Let’s Talk About D.C. Sports’ 67-Season Streak Of Futility

Alright, let’s do the bad news first: The Presidents’ Trophy-winning Capitals lost in a second round Game 7 to the Penguins for the second straight season. It was a less-than-ideal outcome after fighting back from down three games to one. But here’s the good news!: The loss helped extend D.C. sports’ futility to 67 consecutive seasons without one of the four major franchises reaching...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 11, 2017

Ted Leonsis Was Caught Giving Penguins Fans The Business

Most Penguins fans were already seeking cover from the brutality being inflicted inside the PPG Paints Arena by the second half of the third period, but a few in the expensive seats decided to stick around. And if what was happening on the ice wasn’t painful enough, they had to endure being hollered at by Ted Leonsis: According to Russian Machine Never Breaks, this happened right...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 09, 2017

4 Thoughts On Wizards-Celtics Through 4 Games

1. The Wizards are the superior team. It might not matter. Washington looks to be better, and it’s showing up on the scoreboard, where they’ve outscored Boston by 24. Can they win on the road, though? Including Game 1 and 2, the Wiz are 0-4 at Boston this season and 0-3 the two seasons before that — seven straight L’s. The last time they won there was the final game of 2013-14,...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 08, 2017

Becoming Comfortable With The Redskins’ Competence

From 1993 to 2014, a span of 22 seasons, the Redskins posted a winning record six times. Said differently, for a period that spanned multiple generations, Washington’s football team was a loser 73 percent of the time. Then, in ’15-16, they posted back-to-back winning seasons for the first time since ’97. Those were only 9-7 and 8-7-1 seasons, but winning seasons nonetheless. This...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 04, 2017

Caps Post-Game 2 Players-Only Meeting Transcript

This is so good, especially with Pittsburgh’s finest conspiracy theorists in mind, that we want to share it with those who may not see it on Twitter. By Dave Lozo. Enjoy. And buy his book. And in case you can’t see those screengrabs in the Twitter embed, here they are:
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 02, 2017

Sydney Crosby’s Injury Has The Takes Reaching A Boiling Point

After trying their very best to lose a game in which they held a 2-0 lead with under two minutes left, the Caps allowed us to hang onto the tiniest sliver of optimism by winning Game 3 early in overtime. Certainly, our souls will still be crushed later in the series, but for now, there’s hope. Of course, that’s not the big takeaway from Monday night. The injury to Sydney Crosby is...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 02, 2017

The Nats Are Scoring So Many Runs

Twenty-three. That’s how many runs the Nats hung on the Mets in Southeast D.C. yesterday afternoon. That’s so many runs. It’s a franchise record, in fact. It’s also about how many runs a typical team scores in a week. Or, if you’re the Nats, an entire playoff series. (They average 16.3 per October.) Washington is averaging a touchdown — 6.8 runs — per game. That’s more than a full...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
May 01, 2017

Caps-Pens Series Preview: Is There Any Hope?

Mr. Irrelevant Caps correspondent Brad Parker returns (!) to preview this Caps-Pens death match. He’s joined by Ian Brinksman, a Pittsburgh native and devoted Penguins fan who had the misfortune of working with Brad once. Brad asks the questions and Ian answers. Enjoy … 1. Is there any reason to think this year will be different? Oh, god yeah. These are essentially the same two...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
April 27, 2017

The Redskins First-Round Draft Pick Will Probably Be One Of These Guys

Something interesting I learned the other day: the NFL Draft happens this Thursday. I wasn’t aware of this, likely on account of the draft being boring as hell, and the Skins once again reverting to a complete dumpster fire over the offseason. Couple this with the fact that it’s happening at the same time as Game 1 of Caps-Penguins and you’re left with no legitimate reason to watch...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
April 26, 2017

The Wizards Forgot How To Shoot Straight

After the Wiz went up 2-0 on the Hawks, I got a full head of steam in the general direction of “THEY’RE GOING TO THE CONFERENCE FINALS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE ’70s” And now that they’ve dropped two in Atlanta, I’ve reversed it all the way back to “HOW THE HELL ARE THEY LOSING PLAYOFF GAMES TO JOSE CALDERON AND KENT BAZEMORE” The truth is somewhere in the middle, alongside the...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
April 25, 2017

The Orioles Are Doing It Again

After a long and severe drought in which Baltimore posted a losing record every season from 1998-2011 (!), the O’s won more regular-season games than any other AL team the past five years. We needed that. They’re at it again. At 12-5, they have the AL’s best record. That’s a 114-win pace. This after pretty much every expert prediction and forecasting model had them winning something...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
April 24, 2017

Predicting The Redskins’ Record Now That The 2017 Schedule Is Out

Courtesy of your Washington Redskins, here’s the slate: And here are my predictions, assuming a few things: A) Kirk Cousins isn’t traded and returns as the quarterback. B) The draft, like free agency before it, goes reasonably well. C) Daniel Snyder and Bruce Allen don’t go and get any big ideas. Admittedly, these are large assumptions. On with the show: Week 1 — Philadelphia The...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
April 21, 2017

Bradley Beal Is Becoming So Much Like Ray Allen It’s Kinda Weird

On a recent podcast with Zach Lowe, Bill Simmons got to talking about how Bradley Beal’s best NBA player comp is future HOFer Ray Allen. That probably sounds familiar to most keen-eared NBA fans, including readers of this site, which wrote all the way back in May 2012 that “Beal’s game is persistently compared to Allen’s.” After reading about the Beal-Allen comparison yet again in...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
March 27, 2017

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March 12, 2017

The Appeal Of Design Your Dissertation

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March 09, 2017

Redskins-Ravens Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games. This time a 16-10 win at Baltimore to move to 3-2 that was thiiis close from being 17-16 … Winners Jamison Crowder — 85-yard punt return to the house?! The Skins’ first PR TD in 125 games, since 2008. Pre-Obama. Pierre Garcon — Good to see 88 in the end zone. First time this season. Will Blackmon — Was not expecting a big kick return from...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
October 09, 2016

Redskins-Browns Winners & Losers

Handing out labels after Skins games. This time a 31-20 win over Cleveland to get to 2-2. Winners Josh Norman — Struggled with Terrelle Pryor Sr., but saved the day with a boss interception in the fourth quarter. Jordan Reed — Good things happen when the ball is thrown to 86. Today those included his first two scores of the year. Trent Murphy — A few tackles in the backfield...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
October 02, 2016

Redskins-Giants Winners & Losers

Handing out labels following Skins games, this time a 29-27 win at New York … Winners Su’a Cravens — Gorgeous game-clinching INT for the rookie safety/LB we all have high hopes for. Kirk Cousins — This wasn’t Good Kirk, but it wasn’t Bad Kirk either (except for taking that sack at the end of the first half). Did just enough to win. A step in the right direction. By the way, he...
Via Mr. Irrelevant
September 25, 2016
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