1 In 3 Sharks In The Bahamas Are On Drugs

The latest scientific research regarding drug testing of wildlife turned up a doozy, but shamefully far from a first: Sharks hopped up on cocaine, among other substances.

According to analyses of Caribbean reef sharks, nurse sharks, and lemon sharks, 20-test blood panels turned up a roughly one-in-three positive result of at least one of the following four drugs: cocaine, caffeine, and the painkillers diclofenac (Voltaren) and acetaminophen (Tylenol). Perhaps not the most illicit of painkillers, admittedly, but quite the speedball, indeed, for our finned friends and occasional foes.

Were this Miami, Rio, or the Gold Coast of Connecticut, researchers would be a little less alarmed. They have, after all, previously found cocaine in the blood of sharks swimming off those locales.

But, according to Natascha Wosnick, a co-author of a study published in the journal Environmental Pollution, “We’re talking about a very remote island in the Bahamas”—and a fairly large sample of 85 sharks to cast little doubt as to whether these poor, strung-out beasts are outliers.

The island to which Wosnick refers is Eluthera—hardly off the map, but small indeed, and it sees the likes of our particular brand of human now and then.

Now, plenty of high-society, moneyed, and no doubt frivolous pockets prance around Eleuthera. Surfers surely don’t have to bear the brunt of guilt regarding sharks’ drug ingestion and ensuing predilection for nose candy—researchers have, over the years, confirmed sharks previously acquainted with cocaine will choose offerings laced with the stuff over “clean” bundles of chum.

But then, as Chas Smith so thoroughly argued in Cocaine: A Sordid History of Surfing’s Greatest Love Affair, with cocaine as with sharks, our great sport is inextricably linked going back to our humblest of beginnings in a place none other than what is known in the modern day as Peru. A love triangle, perhaps? In any case, around and around we go.

Most of these sharks were reportedly caught about four miles offshore near an inactive fish farm, according to ScienceNews, suggesting that while it’s possible that drug traces were sewage runoff carried by currents and/or tides, Wosnick says it’s more likely that divers are the culprits. “It’s mostly because people are going there, peeing in the water and dumping their sewage in the water,” she says.

The team also found that sharks with contaminated blood showed changes in metabolic markers, including lactate and urea, but research has a long way to go in sharks and intoxication. Past research on goldfish suggests that caffeine, at least, increases energy and focus in goldfish.

Is it likely that we’ll face hyper-attentive, nerve-racked taxmen in the lineup? That might already be happening in Florida, according to “cocaine shark” researcher Dr. Tracy Fanara.

And if you’re getting an inkling that this might be excellent fodder for a b-rate sci-fi flick, look elsewhere. It’s all been done. The title of that unlikely blockbuster? What else but “Cocaine Shark.” What, oh what is next?