Horror-ble: 21 terrible scary movies we still love to watch

Let’s start out with a film that doesn’t just rank among the worst horror movies but one of the worst movies ever made, period. Director Ed Wood was known for his low-budget schlock, and this 1957 film is the epitome of his work. In addition to a terrible script and sloppy editing, “Plan 9 from Outer Space” also uses cheap props, recycled footage, and stock scenes, and you can clearly see film equipment and scripts in some sequences. It’s laughably haphazard, but there are enough chuckles, chortles, and guffaws to warrant repeat viewings of this classic alien invasion flick.

Can a movie about killer rabbits actually be scary? “Night of the Lepus” teaches us that no, no, it can’t. It can’t be scary when it uses real rabbits and simply tries to make them look larger. It really can’t be scary when you can see some of the rabbit handlers in the frame. And it especially can’t be scary when film legends like Janet Leigh, Stuart Whitman, and Rory Calhoun are doing their best to sell it as a serious film. What it can be, however, is a gloriously funny, unintentionally absurd film for nights when you need an old-school laugh. 

The idea of critters burrowing under your skin can be truly terrifying, but it’s important to remember that worms are small, not particularly fast, and they can’t jump or fly, which really limits their potential for causing harm to humans. But somehow, the characters in this cheesy ‘70s creature feature constantly find ways to fall down directly onto piles of worms. If you’re the kind of horror fan that enjoys screaming at the people on the screen, get ready for 92 minutes of constantly yelling, “Oh my god, just stand up and walk away!” — in between bouts of laughter, of course.

If we told you about a movie where a husband murders his wife during an argument, eats her body, gets a taste for human flesh, and continues hunting more victims, you might think this is a dark, sadistic film — but “Microwave Massacre” is anything but. The husband is a stereotypical blue-collar slob, his wife is a nag, he first eats her by mistake, and he cooks her body in a microwave, which, because the film came out in 1979, is ridiculously large. The occasionally witty script and a budget that’s so low that the prop body parts are clearly made of paper mache only add to the unintentional charm. If you’re not yet convinced to give this silly film a watch, we should mention the protagonist is played by Jackie Vernon — the original voice of “Frosty the Snowman,” which makes this movie even more fun when watched during the holiday season.

“C.H.U.D.” is the kind of horror film that presents itself as a scary monster movie, but there’s no way anyone involved in the production or viewing of it can truly take it seriously — especially once the creatures are actually shown on screen. Even the acronym C.H.U.D. (cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers) is worthy of a bright, glowing eye roll. But it’s a fun ‘80s romp with a cast that features future “Home Alone” actors John Heard and Daniel Stern, as well as  Christopher Curry, Kim Greist, Sam McMurray, and John Goodman in one of his earliest roles.

“The Toxic Avenger” is now revered as a classic splatter film, but when it first came out in 1984, audiences weren’t sure what to make of it. There’s rampant toplessness, a slew of slurs and profanity, and people are shot, stabbed, crushed, burned, bludgeoned, dismembered, and disemboweled — most of the time by the superhero star. But directors Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz found their silly, explicit, and often obscene niche with this film, which is credited for launching the B-movie production & distribution powerhouse known as Troma Entertainment.

While most teenagers in ‘80s slasher movies were partying and hooking up in the woods, “Chopping Mall” director and co-writer Jim Wynorski (pictured) put his characters in a more believable hangout: the local mall. Of course, that’s where the realistic elements ended, as the teen’s good times were interrupted by a fleet of deadly robot security guards capable of shooting lasers at criminals and unsuspecting teens. “Chopping Mall” has a stiff script barely held together by classic horror tropes, but unlike the killer robots, it moves quickly and manages to make audiences laugh and shake their heads at the same time.

Critics and fans alike initially panned the first sequel to the 1974 horror classic “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” While the original was gritty, straightforward, and barely used any blood, the second installment was comedic, much more complex, and quite gorier. If the first film is your barometer, you’ll be disappointed. But if you view the sequel as its own humorous spin on the Leatherface franchise, you’ll laugh ‘til your sides split open in spectacular fashion. Plus, “Part 2” has director Tobe Hooper back at the helm, newcomers Dennis Hopper and Bill Moseley in the cast, makeup master Tom Savini handling the effects, and an awesome soundtrack that includes Oingo Boingo’s fittingly irreverent song “No One Lives Forever.”

Horror fans and critics alike will tell you “Bad Taste” is a good movie, but that’s mostly because, in the last four decades, the film has become a cult classic while Peter Jackson became an Academy Award winner. It’s still an extremely low-budget film (it cost $25,000, and the New Zealand Film Commission had to step in to provide additional funding). It still was directed, produced, filmed, and co-written by a single person (Jackson, who also handled the special effects and played two different roles—with the characters fighting each other at one point). And it’s still an overly gory splatter film about aliens dining on humans like they’re some sort of intergalactic fast food. But it’s imaginative, satirical, witty, and downright funny at times, so we’re glad this gross-out flick eventually got its due. 

The original “House” (1986) was a horror film with a comedic bent that starred William Katt as Roger Cobb, a writer and Vietnam vet who moves into his late aunt’s old house and is pitted against its ghosts and his own personal demons. It was generally well received, but the same can’t be said for its sequel, “House II: The Second Story.” With the exception of the haunted house trope, the sequel is a completely different film, this time centered on a couple played by Arye Gross and Lar Park Lincoln, but with a much sillier & more comedic tone that makes it an even easier watch. And hey, if you liked the first film for its inclusion of George Wendt of “Cheers,” this one also has an actor from that same ‘80s sitcom: John Ratzenberger. 

Living up to its name, “Street Trash” is an absolutely disgusting movie. Most of the characters are immoral crooks, there’s an endless stream of profanity, unspeakable physical acts are implied numerous times, and it’s loaded with nudity. That being said, we really do enjoy it. It is beautifully shot (by a young first-time director, no less), there’s some legitimate commentary on society, humor abounds, and as far as body horror films go, it ranks among the best. In fact, the scenes of various characters melting into technicolor goo are pure gold, and some sequences could be called the greatest to exist in the genre.

When we first saw “Killer Klowns From Outer Space” in the early ‘90s, it seemed as if kids (like us) were the only ones who could enjoy it. It was a horror comedy that wasn’t scary and was more amusing than funny, but the goofy oversized alien clowns, cartoonish violence, and minimal gore were instantly appealing to our younger selves. We thought the memories from our childhood were the only reason we still liked this film as adults, but somewhere along the way, it also garnered a much larger following, and the Chiodo Brothers’ cult classic film now holds a special place in the hearts of horror film fans.

“Sleepaway Camp” (1983) is a solid horror movie, but its sequels don’t get any of the same recognition, as they are completely different films compared to the original. In “Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers,” Angela Baker — now going by Angela Johnson — is all grown up, played by Pamela Springsteen (yes, Bruce’s brother), and returns to the summer camp as a counselor. The audience now knows she’s the killer the whole time, and instead of a scary slasher film, this one’s a comedy, making it even more fun to watch. The third is a little rougher around the edges (with more stereotypes and less political correctness), but “Sleepaway Camp II” is filled with amusingly mediocre acting performances and plenty of creative kills and is entertaining from start to finish.

If you’ve seen “Troll 2,” we’re guessing it’s because you heard somewhere that it’s one of the worst movies ever made. However, instead of living in the metaphorical movie landfill, it proudly resides in the so-bad-it’s-good territory. The acting is laughably poor, which doesn’t really matter, as nothing could possibly save the terrible script and special effects. It’s also worth noting that although “Troll 2” is billed as a sequel to the 1986 film “Troll”, the two are in no way related, and there are no trolls in the second film (only goblins). 

A movie about a serial murderer named Jack Frost (Scott MacDonald) who gets in a freak car accident with a genetic research truck, becomes a snowman and continues his killing spree is not the kind of film that is going to win over critics. Thankfully for horror fans, 1997’s “Jack Frost” leans into the tongue-in-cheek plot with cheesy jokes, exaggerated kills, absurd special effects, and borderline-offensive scenes of brutality. It’s not for everyone, but we should all be able to agree that it’s much more entertaining than the family-friendly film of the same name starring Michael Keaton that came out a year later.

We’re not here claiming that 2001’s “Jason X” is one of our favorite films or one of the best in the Friday the 13th franchise — in fact, many would argue that “Jason X” is actually the worst installment, and we’d likely agree with that statement. Instead, the point of this entry is to say that there are no truly bad Friday movies for Jason fans like us. Yes, a story about sending Jason to space is hokey, and there are way too many guns (and futuristic laser guns, at that), but it’s Jason wreaking havoc on a long list of unsuspecting victims, so we’re here for it. And, for what it’s worth, the scene where he dips someone’s head in liquid nitrogen and smashes it to bits was one of the most creative of the entire franchise.

Every year, we spend the month of October rewatching the “Halloween” movies. Not just the original from 1978 but also all the sequels, Rob Zombie’s pair of installments, and the new trilogy. And yes, that includes 2002’s “Halloween: Resurrection,” often referred to as the worst film in the franchise. We watch it for the sake of completeness, but we’d be lying if we said we also don’t enjoy it, mostly because it’s fun to look back and laugh at its absurdity. They bring back Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, only to kill her off before the movie even gets going. The whole premise is built around an internet-based reality show in which the contestants must spend the night in Michael’s childhood home, making the movie way too self-aware. You can watch it for the early internet nostalgia alone — or at least to see Busta Rhymes attempt to avoid Michael while also attempting to act.

Despite a promising premise (a salvage crew investigating a creepy, abandoned vessel adrift in the ocean) and boasting the likes of Gabriel Byrne, Julianna Margulies, and Isaiah Washington, “Ghost Ship” isn’t a very good film. And to be honest, even for us, the movie turns into background noise about halfway through. But it’s still worthy of a watch — and praise — just for its opening sequence, which shows an entire ballroom of passengers graphically vivisected by an errant steel wire in one fell swoop. The 2002 horror film still has a fair share of gore and jump-scares, but like a doomed ocean liner, it eventually runs out of steam.

There have been plenty of creepy dolls and doll movies that have found success being scary over the years: the “Child’s Play” franchise (Chucky), “The Conjuring” films (Annabelle), and even “The Boy” movies (Brahms). James Wan’s “Dead Silence” is not one of them. But normally, a horror movie with boring characters, way too many plot details, and a ridiculously absurd twist ending would be forgettable, but “Dead Silence” is so laughably preposterous that you will literally find yourself laughing out loud at the very parts that are supposed to be frightening. If you have any lingering doubts about its watchability and rewatchability, we should mention that we do, in fact, own a copy of “Dead Silence” on DVD.

At the intersection of bad and brilliant horror movies sits a haunted carousel and one seriously sinister unicorn. This low-budget film — which is about a fiberglass horse that breaks away from a carousel to exact revenge — barely spent any money on professional actors or actually animating the unicorn in any way and instead invested it in a slew of gory, creative, over-the-top kills that are very fake but still very fun. Money well spent.

Clearly, we’re suckers for low-budget New Zealand horror films — especially when they’re about anthropomorphic killer chairs. (Yes, despite the title, the fatal piece of furniture is not actually a sofa.) But how much murdering can a lethal Laz-Y-Boy really do? Not a whole lot, especially when filmmaker Bernie Rao only had one prop chair and didn’t want it to get broken or stained with blood before completing filming. Still, the chair manages to slice, stab, and skin its victims, while also doing other human-esque things like leering at someone from a third-story balcony with its big button eyes. If you like to watch seriously silly slashers, we saved you a seat.