Angry Dolphins Fans? …Keep Repeating ‘We’ll Always Have ‘72’

You see, every downhearted Dolphin fan has that magical golden nugget at their disposal. I cannot count how many Sunday afternoons I’ve been seated in my favorite barstool, wearing my treasured ‘Phins Jersey, a genuine #39 Csonka, cheering on my beloved, struggling Dolphins. Inevitably, I soon become aware of derogatory, inflammatory, and just plain rude comments emanating from semi-inebriated loudmouth fans of the opposing team. No worries here, as I can simply and casually reply “Hey buddy. When has your team ever had an Undefeated Season?”.  I, of course, can say this with the highest degree of confidence, as I know that the answer will aways be “….ummmm….never?”.

Yes, the mystical, magical, revered ’72 Undefeated Dolphins, the greatest gift Don Shula ever bestowed upon God’s Green Gridiron. It’s the totem, the juju, the talisman that protects every true Dolphin fan from abject and total humiliation. Through seasons of despair, heartbreak, and emotional exhaustion, the Undefeated Season is something every Dolphin fan will have and cherish that no other sports fan can take away. (Well, that and the fact that we aren’t the Jets…)

Every Dolphin fan worth his salt sits supremely confident that the ‘Phins will soon right the boat, correct the course, and deploy every other useful nautical cliché’ in their power. They will soon once again be the team we know they can be. After all, we tell ourselves, we’ve been there before. Never mind that 1972 was 53 years ago and the ‘Fins haven’t been consistently relevant since Dan Marino. Sure, we tell ourselves, it will happen. Uh huh. Yeppers.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not in any way implying that Dolphin fans should simply be happy and content with past successes. No. One shouldn’t hold back on any unique expression of constructive criticism of the present messes. On the contrary, holding one’s anger inwards can be very damaging to one’s health.

For every needless, undisciplined penalty incurred, express your wrath. For every time an offensive nose tackle inspects his untied shoe while a savvy, salivating defensive back bolts past him, convey your righteous fury. For every time the QB makes a charitable contribution to the opposing secondary’s stats, rage on, my friends. A foot through a flat-screen TV, jerseys sacrificed on burnt altars, public demonstrations of your mastery of four-letter words are all considered appropriate releases of pent-up frustration.

Should Miami blow the team up? Trade Tua Tagovailoa, Jalen Waddle and other key players for malleable, promising future stars? Fire Head Coach Mike McDaniel?  The answers to those questions are becoming painfully obvious.  Yes. Yes. Hell yes.

But, until then, we’ll always have’72.

NFLEnd Of My Angry Dolphins RantNFL

All of the tongue in cheek, passive aggression aside, every long-suffering Dolphin fan should expect better.

Now.

Of course, the glories of the past should forever be celebrated and revered without having to wear them as armor against the onslaught of the enemy’s taunting jeers.  But until the front office brain trust in Miami removes their noggins from very dark places and key moves are made, Angry ‘Phin Fan, stay strong and proud. Before your next foray to your favorite sports bar, go out and get yourself a retro 39, 12, or 53 jersey. Have those downloaded youtube videos prepared to display at a moment’s notice. Larry Csonka exploding through a defensive line, Manny Fernandez clotheslining a rowdy Raider’s fan, Don Shula being gloriously carried on the shoulders of his undefeated squad.

Remember, ‘Phins faithful, no matter the final score, always have your head held high.

’72 belongs to us all.