Who Are The Chicago Bears?

If Josh Blackwell doesn’t block Daniel Carlson’s kick, the Bears are currently 1-3, trying to pick up the pieces of their season faster than fans pick up free hot dogs. While the team is 2-2, and there have been some notable highlights, there aren’t many fans predicting an NFC North crown this season.

The best part of Chicago’s 2025 campaign so far has been who the haters don’t want to acknowledge … quarterback Caleb Williams. While his play was inconsistent against the Minnesota Vikings, and it was somehow his fault that the Detroit Lions scored a 50-burger, Williams has since righted the ship. The USC alum has thrown eight touchdowns and only two interceptions this season for 927 yards — 7.1 yards per throw. Williams also entered Week Five in a four-way tie for the fourth-most touchdowns in the NFL, holding his own with a QB rating of 97.8.

This means that wide receiver Rome Odunze has been fed well, sitting twelfth in the NFL among all receivers with 296 receiving yards to begin Week Five. Additionally, his five touchdowns were second-most in the league, only behind Amon-Ra St. Brown in Detroit. It’s amazing what happens when the front office actually pays for a solid offensive line, which has only allowed seven sacks on Williams so far this year through four games. Remember, he ate the field a staggering 68 times last year in his rookie season. Seeing only seven sacks as compared to 17 at the 25% mark is a godsend for fans.

Da Bears Are Bad?

Alright, let’s talk about those first two games. To hold a team that went 14-3 in 2024 to just six points through the first three quarters was impressive. The defense was locked in, seemingly punishing J.J. McCarthy for just showing up for his pro debut. After the pick-six by Nahshon Wright, though, the defense hibernated outright until the Week Three contest versus the Dallas Cowboys.

Chicago surrendered a whopping 79 points in back-to-back weeks — 27 to the Vikings (21 in the final 15 minutes) in Week One. Week Two, the team was extra generous, surrendering an embarrassing 52 to the Lions, who were thrilled to welcome back now-head coach Ben Johnson. What stings even more for the Bears is that both losses were delivered in humiliating fashion from division rivals.

While the following performance against Dallas was electric and the defense did just enough to hold off the Las Vegas Raiders in Week Four, let’s be real. The Cowboys suck, and freshman running back Ashton Jeanty owned Chicago’s defense, who should be grateful that God allowed dumb luck to actually help them, for once. After last year’s game against the Washington Commanders, as well as the attack on common sense during the Thanksgiving game, the Bears were due.

Da Bears Are Mid?

To start 2025, it seems like the team is reflecting Sir Issac Newton’s Third Law of Motion, which famously states, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” For Da Bears, this translates on the field into, “for every time we deliver, we take ten years off our fans’ lives elsewhere on gameday.”

Williams has been delivering early this season, flashing a big arm and consistency in the team’s two wins. Odunze and his fellow receivers have had fun in the open field, and the defense has shown some (key word being ‘some’) signs of life in the past two contests. Defensively, on the other hand, the team let two rookies walk all over them in September and was one field goal away from being .250 heading into October. Additionally, needless to say, the less fans discuss the offense’s complete lack of a running game, the better.

End Of My Chicago Bears Rant

It’s still too early to know who the Bears are this season. Chicago’s upcoming schedule does feature some favorable contests against the New Orleans Saints and Cincinnati Bengals. The rematches against the Commanders and Vikings, though, are where fans may get a legitimate answer on the team’s identity. Until the Bears can consistently beat (or simply compete) with playoff contenders, fans will continue to hold on to doubt and uncertainty alongside their Malört and tavern-style pizza. Worse, they’ll turn right back to ol’ reliable ever since former head coach Lovie Smith was fired — apathy.