Ridiculous NFL fines shows league still has lightening up to do

As Schefter noted in a follow-up social media post, the 14-year veteran back "has celebrated touchdowns and first downs his entire NFL career in his own chugging way.

"An ode to his nickname 'Juice,'" Schefter added for context. In a text exchange, the NFL insider quoted Juszczyk as replying, "And I don't even drink beer!"

The NFL's letter has plenty of issues.

For one, some may consider the celebration to be in very good taste. (Is anyone else thirsty?) And as CBS Sports NFL color commentator J.J. Watt accurately noted, with his nickname being Juice, "Could it not be 'reasonably construed' that he is drinking... stay with me here... Juice?"

Goncalves, meanwhile, took an expensive brief fake sip following tight end Tyler Warren's touchdown on "Sunday Night Football." He barely even got enough to wet his lips.

"Your imitation of chugging a beer constituted an offensive demonstration," the league copy-and-pasted from Juszczyk's letter to the one it sent Goncalves.  At least he only received an $8,847 fine.

Our only question here is why stop at Goncalves? What about Warren, who had the gall to supply the fake beer-disguised-as-a-football? A nation awaits justice.

The biggest takeaway from the round of fines might be that if a player is going to fake as though they're drinking a beer, they better do it responsibly. You know, like when Dallas Cowboys tight end Jake Ferguson pretended to shotgun a beer after scoring against the Commanders.

The sheer stupidity of the NFL's punitive decisions is bad enough, but the league taking issue with what they viewed as players chugging beer is even more astounding considering Bud Light is a corporate sponsor. (For those of you 21 and over, don't forget to pick up your favorite team's custom Bud Light Can-O-Flage at NFLShop.com).

What are we even doing here?

If there's a positive, as Sportico noted before the start of the 2026 regular season, 50 percent of all money the league receives from player fines goes to the Players Assistant Trust, a program run by the NFLPA that assists players "acclimate to life after football and provide supplemental health care benefits such as cognitive evaluations."

The league also benefits, albeit indirectly, with the other half of fine money going to "charitable donations jointly determined by the NFL and the NFLPA. Sportico noted that the nonprofit NFL Foundation is listed on the league's official site as "the preferred charity."

If the league had any sense, it would reimburse Juszczyk and Goncalves out of its own pocket, even though, as players on multi-million dollar contracts, the money is hardly an issue. It's the principle of the matter.

For years, people have derisively referred to the NFL as the "No Fun League." It was certainly that on Thursday. But worst of all, it lacked any common sense.