Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Lesser Hades v Celtic

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 8/10 MOTM – “He’s fat, he’s round, he’s worth a million pound…” Or maybe tens of millions if we get the season over the line and into the Champions League. Pips Liam for MOTM due to his instinctive brilliance, saving two certainties to The Ginger Baresi’s one. Still won’t be enough to quell the haters, and their petted lips will be fluttering with angst as they realise but for the Schmeichel family’s finest goalkeeper we’d be out of Europe and out of a title race.

KATIE – 5/10 – Doubt KT would have started if we had a single fit left-back available to give him a breather. As it was, he coped manfully, obviously uncomfortable, being out-jumped and out-muscled for their equaliser. Thursday killed him for yesterday.

AZTECO – 5.5/10 – Game enough, and was in a right tussle with their most potent attacking player. Got overwhelmed at times due to lack of proper cover, outnumbered when it should have been the other way about. But, like KT, he coped, though unable to offer any attacking option.

OF JUSTICE – 7.5/10 – When the chips are down, he’s delivering. And there was plenty salt ‘n’ sauce on them yesterday to sour the palate. Manful resistance through the ten-man siege, stunner of a goal-saver at 1-1, looking the most assured outfielder and defying all detractors by holding Celtic together when other’s heads had gone. Yet again, thanks be to Liam…

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 4/10 – The hero of exotic spaghetti Bolognese becomes the villain of domestic macaroni, narrowly escaping catastrophe as he worked himself into a fusilli, gifting chances and ending
up penne-alised by the corrupt MIB’s for a scurrilous red after an innocuous but clumsy intervention. After the delicious heights of Thursday, what the fetuccine was that, big ghuy?

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