The bird from Angry Birds is playing Smash or Pass on TikTok

Red, the angry red bird from Angry Birds, has taken the internet by storm after posting a TikTok playing Smash or Pass for popular video game characters. That’s a real sentence I’ve just written and you’ve just read, about a real thing that happened.

The TikTok shows Red playing Smash or Pass, a game that essentially asks a person to say whether or not they would engage in sexual intercourse with a person or character. Red is, of course, a video game character, so most of the characters mentioned in the video are also from video games.

There’s a few obvious choices that Red, the bird from the Angry Birds game that went on to star in movies made for children, makes here. Of course he would smash Bayonetta, who among us wouldn’t? It’s worth noting that this is the official, verified TikTok account for the Angry Birds franchise.

He naturally does the right thing and passes instantly on any characters, like Pit from Kid Icarus and Red from Pokémon, who are underage. There are some surprises in there too, such as the revelation that Red is bisexual, saying he would smash both Samus from Metroid and Ezio from Assassin’s Creed.

He also is very respectful of sexuality boundaries. When somebody in the comments asked him why he passed on Overwatch’s Tracer, he acknowledged she was a lesbian and that he wasn’t her type, saying she was “for the ladies”.

Fun fact, I have two university degrees, and I am here writing about an Angry Bird wanting to have sex with Fire Emblem characters. One could ask a lot of questions about how one's life ends up the way it does, but I’m not sure any of them could provide a satisfying answer for this current situation.

As some on social media pointed out, this is technically the first official piece of content that Angry Birds has released since it was announced that Sega would be buying developer Rovio for $775 million. Whether this is a fresh new strategy from Sega to bring Angry Birds into the modern age, or something that was in the works prior to the acquisition, we may never know.

What we do know, though, is that Red from Angry Birds would have sex with Minecraft Steve. So… okay.