We bring you the Top 25 names of the 2011-12 college basketball season.
25. Cashmere Wright - guard, Cincinnati - Someone's mom had expensive taste.
24. Kiwi Gardner - guard, Providence - I guess Kiwi is better than strawberry or pomegranate.
23. Jordair Jett - guard, Saint Louis - When you have the last name Jett, it's only natural to include air in your child's first name, isn't it? Isn't it?
22. Staats Battle - guard, North Carolina State - This kid has the ability to put up some numbers stats.
21. Lucky Jones - swingman, Robert Morris - It's better than the alternative.
20. Sam Mike - forward, Georgia Southern - His father had to have been a linebacker. It's short for Strongside Middle.
19. Ella Ellis - guard, Army - He can stand under Rihanna's umbrella, ella, ellis, ay, ay ay...
18. Shay Shine - guard, High Point - Good for his folks not naming him Richard or William.
17. Brian Bryant - guard, Mississippi State - Good for his folks not naming him Richard or William.
16. Jay Wey - guard, San Francisco - Good for his folks not naming him Richard or William.
15. Aru Kok - center, USC Upstate - I'm not touching this one.
14. Pierre Mopo - forward, Tennessee-Martin - The Skyhawk equipment manager owes us all a spelling error on the back of Pierre's jersey.
13. Pe'Shon Howard - guard, Maryland - This takes me back to the handshake between Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff - PSSH!
12. Fab Melo - center, Syracuse - Only averaging seven points, he's been more Melo than Fab.
11. Deuce Bello - guard, Baylor - If I have the first pick in a pick-up game, I'm taking a Deuce.
10. Pi'i Minns - guard, Hawaii - His given first name is Carl. I kid you not.
9. Ife Eke - forward, Louisiana-Monroe - I was iffy on whether to include Ife on this list.
8. Drake U'u - guard, Cal Poly - The fans and the hecklers can chant the same thing and nobody knows the difference - "you, you, you, you!"
7. Steve Tcheingang - forward, Vanderbilt - That's the sound of a man, working on a chain...gaaang!
6. Bak Bak - forward, Cal - If Bak Bak and Albert Pujols switched places, Chris Berman would have a field day in the home run derby.
5. Bubu Palo - guard, Iowa State - On an off night, you could say he's playing like crap Bubu.
4. Hippolyte Tsafack - forward, Memphis - A hippo on a diet? It's all I got.
3. De'End Parker - guard, UCLA - With only two left, we're almost to De'End.
2. Nimrod Hilliard IV - guard, South Dakota - This is just a stupid name.
1. God'sgift Achiuwa - forward, St. John's - Wait a second, I thought he played quarterback for the Broncos.
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