Found May 16, 2012 on
My daughter turns 1 year old this week. I think that when you have a daughter, as a man, your whole relationship with the vagina changes. The vagina used to be something I rarely saw, but when I did see it, it always looked so nice…so inviting…so delicious. It was always all decked out and had good backlighting and looked like one of those classy B&W Calvin Klein ads or something. As Tyra Banks would say: it looked fierce! But now I see vagina every day. Multiple times. And every time I see one, I’m literally scrapping sh*t out of it. That’s right. That wasn’t included in any of those “what to expect” baby books. But maybe it should be, because it’s basic physics that when a baby girl poops, and she’s flopping around and/or sleeping in her own filth, inevitably the poop will get crammed in her cooch. Then you spend your time with baby wipes trying to get it out so she doesn’t get any kind of infection in there. And when that becomes your foundation, I think the whole allure and ...
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