Originally written on Cardinals Diaspora  |  Last updated 8/27/14
Last week we saw the reason PRISM was created (Brandon) and the reason the Lulu App was created (Brian), but we didn't see Dez fall in love.  That's what we're here for people. To watch our heroine meet her hero. No, the producers have stacked the deck with jokers that aren't hanging around the mansion for the 'right reasons'. But this week, with the help of Mr. Chris Harrison, it's time to suss out the top 10. If you're with rose in tow after tonight, ****? **** is getting real. And without a clear favorite (sorry Brooks, an IV, breathing tube and smelling salts for a broken finger brings you back to the pack), it's anyone's heart to lose. Let's date... 7:01 - The Bachelors are headed to New Jersey. Odds on special guest appearances: Springsteen (1500 to 1), Chris Christie (100 to 1), Bon Jovi (5 to 1), Steve Schirripa (1 to 100 - serving pizza on the boardwalk) 7:04 - Just to clarify, Atlantic City... NOT like Las Vegas on the water. Not anytime soon, at least. 7:12 - I was trying to think of who Brad reminds me of. A metronome. 7:25 - Christopher Dean, world famous pageant coach everybody! I just don't want the next 20 minutes to come. I really don't. Does anyone actually read this crap? Do I seriously have to watch? 7:29 - Fun fact, Mr. America was the nickname of Gene Stanlee, who is credited with bringing showmanship into professional wrestling back in the 1940s. 7:38 - Here is a list of talents in no order. Only one is made up. Tap dancing, stripping, ukulele, ribbon twirling, poetry, high-heel hula hooping, stripping, guitar/singing, dressage.  7:41 - Kasey wins 'Mr. America'. I'll never get that time back. Ever.    8:00 - Nothing gets a date off to a hotter start than taking a helicopter tour of a devastating natural disaster.    8:08 - Now we're going to get a ground tour of Hurricane Sandy with a very special meeting of random victims.    8:19 - What? What did he do? Armed robbery? Assault? MURDER!?   8:20 - Nope. James cheated on his girlfriend. Freshman year of college. You know who else cheated their first year of college, James? Everyone. Everyone cheated.   8:31 - Friends, when a hurricane destroys all your personal possessions, you'll find out who your true friends are. 100% of the time, Hootie is your friend.    8:43 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is this on Michael's finger? Where's the IV tube? Where's the oxygen mask? Huh, Brooks? HUH?     8:45 - Bryden, probably not cut out for this. He's done our country proud. Now he needs to take some time for himself. He's earned it.    8:55 - Bryden, coming back for some more.    CUT: Brad, Zack K.   NEXT WEEK: More sausage, ski lifts, sledding, L-Bombs teases, James the Next Bachelor, giving up, good Christians, Armageddon.   

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