Originally written on It's Always Sunny in Detroit  |  Last updated 10/21/14

If we were to play word association and I said “liquor” and “most exciting two minutes”, you’d probably think I was describing a good Friday night with your girlfriend.  If I were to expand the game and say “mint julep” and “fastest two minutes in sports”,  it’d be a no-brainer, the Kentucky Derby.

The 138th running of the Derby is next weekend and dozens of celebrity hotties will flock to Louisville with big @$$ hats and cutie-patootie dresses.  I don’t get it. You spend all afternoon pounding pops with mint leaves in them only to watch little men whip four-legged versions of NASCAR make four left turns.  And in two minutes, it’s over.  Hooray!

Then again, these twenty-five celebrity babes are probably all too familiar with the whole “two minutes and it’s over” routine.

Paris Hilton


Marissa Miller


Erin Andrews


Aubrey O’Day


Danica Patrick


Gabrielle Union


Jennifer Love Hewitt


Jenny McCarthy


Maria Menounos


Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison


Julie Benz


Petra Nemcova


Miranda Lambert


Kim Kardashian


Kate Gosselin


Ashlee Simpson


Jessica Simpson’s boobs


Kate Walsh


Bethenny Frankel


Heidi Montag


Jordin Sparks


Linda Cardellini


Nancy O’Dell


Vanessa Minnillo

Niki Taylor


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