Cheesiest horror movies to get through the scariest month

By Shiloh Carder  |  Last updated 10/13/16

It is that time of year again.  The weather is cooling off, pumpkin spice flavored items are piling up in your local grocery stores and those scary movies will be showing up all over your television. You'll have your classic slasher films, those old time monster movies, the thrillers, torture-fests and today's PG-13 seat-jumpers.

There are also those horror movies that were made just because they could be. Horror movies are typically among the cheapest type of film to make and has a built in audience if you have the right hook. Maybe it is a killer turkey, killer clowns or a killer piece of rubber. Doesn't matter since they all got made and several went on to have some even worse sequels. Below are twelve of the cheesiest, goofiest and god-awful movies that you just have to see to believe.


The world is devoid of good Thanksgiving movies. Well, ThanksKilling keeps it that way. It is the tale of Turkie, who comes around every 505 years to kill all the white people he can. This movie is even more ridiculous than that quick synopsis (at one point Turkie dons a sheriff's outfit). The film cost all of $3,500 to make and you can see every cent spent on it.


Manos is usually listed among the worst movies ever made, starting with the title that translates as, "Hands: The Hands of Fate." It's your typical tale of a family driving on a vacation and get mixed up with some cult-ish gang of weirdos. It is so badly made with so many editing errors it has become a cult classic due to it being completely dreadfully made. In the early 1990s, Mystery Science Theater 3000 mocked the movie which introduced it back into pop culture.


Clowns are always a Halloween fixture, so a movie where aliens who look like clowns come to Earth and start killing in hilarious ways is both scary and funny. The clowns in Killer Klowns From Outer Space don't resemble Pennywise or Cam from TV's Modern Family. No, these are puffy, plastic looking things but their killings are done with flair.


What could be more '80s than a group of teenagers hiding out in a mall when it's closed to get their debauchery on? This horror flick where the mall's overnight security system of laser toting robots starts picking off horny teens, one by one. It's got stars like one of the dudes from Head Of The Class and Dick Miller, who starred in other horror gems like Gremlins, Night Of The Creeps (more on that later), Twilight Zone: The Movie and The Howling. We all wanted to hang out in the mall all by ourselves at night, we just didn't plan on Johnny 5 trying to blow our heads off.


This one is kind of a homage to the B-movies of the '50s and '60s and it doesn't disappoint. Night of the Creeps is a zombie movie but not one where a virus or some weird spell brings them their walker abilities. No, a slug-like thing get inside people's mouths (or other orifice), take control of the brain and turn them into zombies. It is a great B-grade movie that uses all the B-grade movie tricks. Plus it has the National Lampoon's European Vacation version of Rusty Griswold in it!

TROLL 2 (1990)

When is a sequel not a sequel? When it was a totally different movie but the studio decided to market it as a sequel to a previous movie. Troll 2 has nothing to do with the original Troll as these are vegetarian goblins from Nilbog (get it?  Goblin spelled backwards!) who want to turn people into plants so they can devour them. Make sense? No? It doesn't matter.

GINGERDEAD MAN (2005) (Warning, this trailer may not be suitable to watch in public.)

Gary Busey stars in this one. Gary.  Busey. And he actually plays the Gingerdead man a former killer who is caught and executed for his crimes and his cremated remains are baked into... a gingerbread man. Sorry, gingerdead man. This movie is so cheesy that there has been several sequels made, including a crossover with out next feature.

EVIL BONG (2006) (Another trailer you might want to watch while in the office or local coffee shop.)

Tommy Chong stars in this one about a bong that traps whomever tokes it inside where a bevy of killer strippers and miscreants await. The most notable thing about this movie is the soundtrack, which features the Kottonmouth Kings, Insane Clown Posse, Sen Dog of Cypress Hill and Twiztid.


In world of Sharnado and Dinocroc, we have Birdemic. Yes, we've seen birds swarming and killing people before and by much, much, much better directors. But these aren't just normal pecking birds. No these birds spit acid and explode like grenades when they hit their target. Birds sure have come a long way since dinosaurs.

RUBBER (2010)

Kind of like Birdemic, except this movie is about a tire who kills people with its psychic powers.  Not only is it a bad movie, but it is a movie within a movie!  It's an interesting angle to come from but it would work better as an episode of Tales From the Crypt than an entire feature.


Before the age of irony, Student Bodies was one of the first to parody the slasher movie genre. Think Scary Movie meets Airplane!. One of the great features of this one is that there is an on screen body counter when another kill is made. It's goofy with a killer called The Breather because, well, he breathes so loud even his victims can hear him coming.

COOTIES (2014)

What do you get when you have Dwight from The Office, Frodo, Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock and the big dude from Lost in a film together? You get Cooties, a movie where a kid eats a tainted chicken nugget and starts a domino effect of kids turning into flesh eating monsters, chewing up teachers and any adult in their path.


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