Originally written on It's Always Sunny in Detroit  |  Last updated 9/11/14
Dear Kate,

It's not me, it's you. I once thought that I loved you and that I would grow old loving you. I would have given you the liberty of doing anything that want. You could have molded me into any man that you wished. I would have been your pawn. 

 It breaks my heart, but I can no longer think about seeing you anymore. I have learned through your interview with ESPN's Colin Cowherd that you're a University of Michigan fan.  I know you're young and naive, but you'd enjoy life so much more if you were a fan of any other school in the nation (save maybe Notre Dame).

I know that we've never actually met and that I'm just some chump who posts pictures and videos of you on the internet, but we I would have had a good time. Despite all banging body, sense of humor and your playful attitude, all I see is maize and blue. And because of this, I hope that U of M lets you down at every chance possible.

It was nice never knowing you,


PS - Call me.

Upton revealed to ESPN's Colin Cowherd that she and her family are Michigan football fans. Cowherd mistakenly said that Upton attended U of M.  She said that, "Every year, we have a huge family reunion after Thanksgiving and go to the Ohio State-Michigan game."  Upton was born in St. Joseph, Michigan, but was raised in Melbourne, Florida.

It's a darn shame that it won't be bikini season in November come 2013 when the O$U-UM game will be in Ann Arbor again. There won't be any of this going on...


Report: Patriots used Dolphins' Week 1 quotes as motivation

Broncos critical of Philip Rivers' attitude on the field

Auburn football player Jakell Mitchell shot and killed

Mariota wins Heisman Trophy

Report: Melky Cabrera, White Sox agree to 3-year deal

WATCH: Penguins commentator makes poor 'I can't breathe' joke


Would Percy Harvin take pay cut to return to Jets?

Nationals GM disappointed Bryce Harper missed NatsFest

Broncos to place Montee Ball on season-ending IR

Johnny Manziel could have made $8-10 million in college?

Will Muschamp says his only offer came from Auburn

NFL relocation to Los Angeles is gaining steam

WATCH: Patriots return blocked kick for a TD

Pirates unveil alternate camo jerseys for 2015 season

LeBron expected to attend Johnny Manziel's first start

Twitter cracks jokes over Tim Bradley's disfigured face

WATCH: Brewer gets away with ridiculously long travel

Melvin Gordon wishes he played more in record game

Prospective Las Vegas NHL owner would let fans name team

Will Muschamp already recruiting for Auburn

WATCH: Mavs play keep-away with Marreese Speights' shoe

WATCH: OSU's Sam Thompson throws down awesome dunk

WATCH: Glass shatters during ECHL game, injures fans

Urban Meyer boasts about his Ohio State accomplishments

Entertainment News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Broncos critical of Philip Rivers

SEE: Announcer's 'I can't breathe' joke

Marcus Mariota wins Heisman Trophy

Muschamp already recruiting at new job

Nats GM 'disappointed' in Bryce Harper

The five best rookie receivers of 2014

NFL relocation to LA looks likely

Peterson thinking about Olympics?

Brett Lawrie makes little girl's day

Braxton Miller returning to OSU?

Adrian Peterson appeal denied

Winners and losers of the Winter Meetings

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.