World's Fastest Lacrosse Player? Usain 'Bolts' to Bryant!

Posted August 21, 2008
In following the trend of big moves that are going on in Division 1 this summer, an undisclosed source recently confirmed to TheJman that Usain Bolt, the World's Fastest Man, will dress for D1 newcomers Bryant University during their inaugural 2009 season. Unbeknownst to much of lacrosse's 'coaching inner circle', Bryant head coach Mike Pressler has been cultivating the Jamaican born sprinter's skills over the last year; visiting his home on the island and sending him equipment for him to practice with. Bolt initially learned about Pressler and lacrosse through the news coverage of the much publicized 'Duke rape case'. He began researching the game and fell in love with its fast pace and exciting flair. Said Bolt, "Dees buoys can rally move. I be a big fan of 'ow day git up and down de field. I taught to meself, 'I'd like ta do dat', so I gave Coach P a call." With Bolt, in addition to the recent transfer of 3x All-American Zack Greer and 16 other additions to the roster, Pressler couldn't be more thrilled with his team's potential. Pressler will be looking to Greer to shoulder the offensive load and help lead the offense, and despite posting 87% on clears and out ground balling opponents 2 to 1 last year, he's confident in Bolt's ability to contribute to the team and that he'll sure up any weaknesses in those categories. "Obviously Zack is as talented as they come. He knows how to perform in big games and can help lead this young stable. Usain will unquestionably be the fastest guy on any field. We're going to give him the ball and open the gates. I think he'll be taking Matt Abbott's title as 'The Human Clear'. " Could Geoff Snider's record and reign as 'Ground Ball King' be at risk as well? This week Bolt broke Carl Lewis' 24 year old record as the last person to win Gold in both the 100m and 200m, but he upped the bar by setting new world records in both races, a feat never before accomplished by any sprinter in the history of the Olympics. Bolt ran away from the competition posting times of 9.69 secs in the 100m and 19.30 secs in the 200m, averaging a ground speed of over 23 miles per hour. At the conclusion of the games, Greer and Pressler will be focused on helping refine Bolt's stick stills in preparation for fall ball and the spring season. Both were on hand for Bolt's record breaking performances in the finals and will travel back to Jamaica to help him get moved up to his new home in Smithfield, RI. Said Bolt, "I'm rally excited bout gittin up to da US. I just showed da whirl dat I be da gratest on da track, now it's time to show dem dat I be da gratest on da field" **Side note: Ok, ok. . . so maybe he's not going to go play at Bryant. But could you imagine if he did?**
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