Found October 04, 2012 on Razzball:
We laughed, we cried, we laughed and cried about Eric Hosmer.  Take off your homemade aluminum hat that you wear so aliens can’t hear your thoughts and think back to March.  You had that argument with your mom and you ran out of the house screaming, “I wish you were Evan Longoria!”  Then when he went to the DL, you ran back into your house and screamed, “I love you Mom, can I move back into the basement?!”  Then you streamed Philip Humber for his perfect game and you thought that this was a great time to change your hummingbird tattoo to a Humberbird tattoo complete with his likeness.  Then at the All-Star Break, you thought about how you’ve had no life for the last three months, but the All-Star Break ended a few days later and it didn’t bother you anymore.  Then you took a trip to the grocery store with your fantasy team jersey that had 24 different team mascots on it and someone thought you were Gaylord Perry and you punched them in the mouth because you hadn’t spoken to a human ...
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