“I’m gonna get that Weezy gnome and take a picture with it at every NL baseball park. Step 1…get that gnome.”
Those are the words I tweeted this evening upon seeing the highly-anticipated and much-ballyhooed Brian Wilson Garden Gnome, which was unveiled by the San Francisco Giants twitter team today (pictured below).
You’ve seen those pictures on the Internet of gnomes that were stolen out of people’s front yards and taken abroad? Yeah, I’m not joking. That’s what I want to do here.
I have always wanted to visit every ballpark in America anyway and now seems like the perfect time for me to do it. I ain’t gettin’ any younger.
By no means ill this be a simple endeavor. Starting with Step 1…
Obtain the gnome.
Said gnome (hereafter referred to as “Willie”) will be given away to the first 20,000 nut jobs like me who plan to spend the night in front of AT&T Park the night before the Giants play the Oakland A’s on Sunday, May 20. I don’t have a ticket to the game yet. I just went to the Giants website and the only tickets left are a few section 300 seats. Stubhub, I love you.
Last year, my son and I got in line at like 8:00 in the morning when the Giants gave away the Tim Lincecum bobblehead. It was a good thing we did. Long before the gates opened, the lines stretched about 10 blocks down the Embarcadero one way, and over the Lefty O’Doul bridge, down China Basin parkway, past the Junior Giants field to somewhere I couldn’t see, the other way.
Getting to every National League ballpark will be the easy part.
I haven’t popped open Visio to draw out my plan yet, but I will. I’ll start by making a list of all the NL parks. Then the team schedules. Obviously, I’d like to visit the parks when the Giants are in town (that would be my first preference), but Willie and Me won’t be picky. If we need to pop into PNC Park one night and Citizens Bank Park the next, so be it. Airfare’s gonna be a ***** for sure, so I’ve got some work to do. I’ll also probably buy a new website domain just to document my travels.
OK, gotta go. Got some convincing to do. The wife doesn’t know about my plan yet. (Prayers and good vibes welcome.)
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