Originally posted on IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS caught  |  Last updated 12/18/12
Toronto fans - aka: the raidin' Canadi'ns - have had the kind of Christmas you'd expect of Suri Cruise: Two rich parents competing to buy you the best gifts. Eldon Bowl-a-Matic? Check. Robot Commando? Check. E-Z Bake Oven? Check. They not only got everything they wanted, they got the pony too.  They named it Melky.Meanwhile, we gave gifts: Swisher to the homeless (Cleveland, apparently), Soriano to the fates (Boston, possibly) and A-Rod to his pro wrestler girlfriend through July. Under our tree, we found a giant bald iguana, and we named him Yuke.Look at the Toronto lineup. LOOK, DAMMIT, DON'T TURN AWAY! You half-expect to see Winfield, Molitor and Tony Fernandez. ss Jose Reyes (two years ago, won batting crown)lf Anthony Gose (ascending)rf Jose Batista (40 hr power)dh Edwin Encarnacion (40 hr power)cf Melky Cabrera (got juice? best cf in game!)3b Brett Lowrie (ascending)1b Adam Lind (30 hr power)c JP Arencibia (20 hr power, ascending)ss Macir Izturis  (ascending)How do you say "Ouch"
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