Since John Hodgeman of "The Daily Show" apparently doesn't have the time to fix Major League Baseball's myriad problems and controversial issues, I supposed I'll have to step in and get it done.
Contrary to what you may imagine, I'm pretty busy myself. I could list all the stuff I have to deal with on a daily basis but I just can't lose any more readership at this point. So even though it's a big pain to have to deal with baseball's problems, which, I might add, other people are paid large bucks to fix, for the sake of the game I'll step up.
[A simple statue, maybe on the outskirts of Cooperstown, is sufficient recognition for my contributions. I mean, let's not get ridiculous about it. If there could also be some type of amusement ride for the kids there, maybe a "Pablo Sandoval Unlimited Buffet Superslide", that would be nice.]
So let's permanently fix a MLB problem that is rooted in baseball's longstandin...