Originally written on Razzball  |  Last updated 11/17/14
Picture above ground, there’s different levels of air.  In the first level of air, there’s number one outfielders.  Ryan Braun, he’s a number one.  He’s like a Macy’s Day Parade balloon, big and just off the ground.  Then in the next level of air, there’s number two outfielders.  We’re right above the world’s tallest buildings now.  There you find Nelson Cruz.  Say hello, Nelson.  Okay, he’s brooding.  Next level up is the number three’s.  What’s up, Jason Kubel?  Chillin’, Grey!  Watch your head, there’s a plane flying past to your right.  Swoosh!  Above them, and the air is thinning now.  You can’t breath, and not simply because you smoke a pack a day while telling your loved one you’re running to the store to get a snack — 17 times a day.  Balls carry a little better here.  Here we find number four outfielders.  Here is Tyler Colvin.  He’s singing, “Sunny, came home,” and his armpits are heavy with fur.  Now, at times, number one outfielders could
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