Found April 13, 2012 on Awful Announcing:


David Stern can't be happy with Charles Barkley today.  That's because the Inside the NBA star analyst appeared on ESPN 1000's Waddle & Silvy in Chicago and insinuated the fix may be in for the upcoming NBA Draft Lottery.  The Charlotte Bobcats will have the most ping pong balls after one of the worst seasons in NBA history, and not even Michael Jordan would pass on Anthony Davis as the #1 pick.  (We think, although he did select such luminaries as Kwame Brown and Adam Morrison.)  27 years after Patrick Ewing somehow landed in New York, Sir Charles would be suspicious if the first pick and Anthony Davis went to Brooklyn, where the Nets and Mikhail Prokhorov just happen to be building a new arena and starting over in New York City in need of a star player or two...

You told us the story about Michael Jordan and Adam Morrison, the last time he had a really high pick. The Bobcats should, unless the lottery ball bounces the other way, get the number one pick. He’s not going to screw this up. He would take Anthony Davis, would he not?

“I’ve got to tell you something, I’m really concerned about the number one pick in the draft this year. Well, number one, I think Michael would take Anthony Davis or I’d kill him (laughs). I can’t say this, but I’m going to be watching the draft lottery very closely because I don’t want no shenanigans.”

What are you alluding to? What do you think could happen?

“I’m going to be very leery if Anthony Davis ends up in Brooklyn. You know, I’m going to be very leery because I know the NBA has a lot riding on that new arena, especially if Deron Williams leaves New Jersey. They didn’t get Dwight Howard. I’m going to be very leery if New Jersey gets that number one pick.”

Are you a conspiracy theorist Chuck?

“I am. I am. (laughs) I am.”

Let's break this down one more time.  The highest profile NBA analyst is worried about the league fixing its Draft Lottery and he "don't want no shenanigans."  Phenomenal.  Is any other sport clouded by as many conspiracy theories as the NBA?  I can't wait for the NBA version of "Breaking the Magician's Code" to find out how the league pulls off all these fixes.  David Stern should just save us all the trouble and announce that he's awarding the #1 pick to Brooklyn for "basketball reasons" and be done with it.  Sorry Charlotte, you know Jordan would just screw the pick up anyways.

[via Sports Radio Interviews]


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