Orlando Sentinel: The Magic have a new head coach: Jacque Vaughn. You may remember Vaughn, a former point guard of the Jazz, Hawks, Magic, Nets, and Spurs, getting his ankles broken by Allen Iverson. Vaughn is still just 37 years old, which makes him younger than three players on the New York Knicks.
Larry Brown Sports: Not surprisingly, Pau Gasol relishes the un-Laker-like role he plays as the most prominent member of Team Spain. It makes him feel like “a beast.”
ESPN: Glen Taylor’s money is burning a hole in David Kahn’s pocket. After having his ridiculous offer to Nicolas Batum matched by the Blazers, Kahn contacted 31-year-old Andrei Kirilenko and agreed to give him $20 million over the next two years. Despite the fact that the oft-injured, sometimes-emo Kirilenko is cresting the hill, Kahn reports that his new acquisition feels “as good as he’s ever felt.” Sh!t, with a new $20 million deal and a wife that allows canoodling with other women, I’d imagine he is.
The Windy Apple: Team USA looking foolish at the Olympics opening ceremony. Players most likely to wear this outfit again under their own free will: Tyson Chandler, Russell Westbrook.
My San Antonio: Tim Duncan stays doing extremely admirable things, such as taking an $11 million pay cut for the upcoming season in order to allow his Spurs to make some moves. I’m not saying any of them should, or that I would if I were in their shoes, but imagine if LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh all agreed to pay cuts in the range of $5 million a piece. Just throwing that out there.
Shreveport Times: Every so often I still conduct a google news search for “Stromile Swift” hoping to learn that he’s planning some sort of overseas comeback. Instead, I’ve discovered that he’ll be playing in the prison yard. Assuming I’ve understood this article correctly, the Stro Show will be crashing the court at New Orleans’ Parish Detention Center on October 19th. Damn.
Hip Hop Since 1987: Is it old news if it was never news in the first place? Back in mid June, Lou Williams released a terrible rap/r&B collaboration with a couple of the dudes from Jagged Edge. The sonic disaster begins with Williams brashly approaching the woman he desires: “I’m Lou, who the hell is you?” He goes on to explain that he has trouble expressing himself in crowded rooms, hence the rude introduction. He then delivers a cheesy compliment—“you’re a bomb like ‘boom!’”—before laying out his intentions rather bluntly: “baby I’m trying to bag you.” Boy, Lou sure does have a way with words, and with the ladies.
Pro Basketball Talk: The Phoenix Suns missed out on Eric Gordon this offseason, but they may have a shot at James Harden next summer.
Ebay: For only $1,500 you may place the opening bid on a special pair of Amare Stoudemire Air Force Ones. For $2,000 you can save yourself the hassle of bidding and secure the kicks right damn now.
The Basketball Jones: According to his trainer, Carmelo Anthony “is not a fat ass.” According to this BMI calculator (and NBA.com’s height/weight listings of 6’9” 230 lbs), he is “overweight.” Sorry, Melo, but the National Heart and Lung Institute is definitely more of an authority on this matter than your trainer.