Originally posted on Extra Pine Tar  |  Last updated 5/7/12

The Mavericks elected not to pay Lamar Odom his $14 thousand playoff bonus, basically because he quit on the team. I’ve got a theory as to what held Lamar back this season – and no, it’s not his obnoxious, 6-foot-8 dinosaur wife.

It’s the fact that he eats more candy each morning than a ******* kindergarten class does in a calendar year. Hershey’s white chocolate cookies and cream? Pecan swirls? Honey buns? Now and Laters? Gummy Savers? What the hell is Lamar Odom’s problem? I like candy as much as the next guy, but you’re not going to catch me waking up in the middle of the night to wolf down a handful of Skittles. Maybe if Lamar wasn’t tasting the rainbow 11 times a day he would have had time to commit to the Mavericks, instead of acting like a gummy bear.

I don’t care how good of shape you’re in, after a while two pounds of peach rings a day will set you back a little bit. Grow up Lamar, will ya? Even my niece knows that eating a quart of Gobstoppers in one sitting is bad for you, and she’s 1-year-old.

PLAYERS: Lamar Odom
TEAMS: Dallas Mavericks
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