Originally written on The Slanch Report  |  Last updated 11/13/14

Things are bigger in Texas. Like, for instance, Chris Brown of Midland, Texas is a bigger idiot than almost everyone else in the country (certainly more so than us East coast elites; I'll let the flyover states battle for the title amongst themselves.) Taking a page out of the Dallas Mavericks' Jason Terry's playbook, Brown had the Houston Texans logo, and the word's "Super Bowl Champions" tattooed on his forearm. To top it off, he made sure to include WHICH Super Bowl they will win, that would be THIS YEAR'S one in Indianapolis. 


Mr. Brown, I know I'm probably using words that are too big for you to understand so I'll try and slow down and speak at your level. You know that Matt Schaub is still your quarterback right? That while he's serviceable and solid he's not close to extraordinary and QB play is what wins in the NFL now? You know that Andre Johnson has missed 3 straight games right? You know that in the playoffs teams would stack the line and stop Arian Foster from making a major impact? Do you remember that with Peyton out this year the Texans play in the weakest division in the AFC and that even still they've lost 2 games to divisional opponents?

But sure, yeah, Super Bowl Champions. 

That's going to be particularly embarrassing come February when the Texans, having lost in the first round to the Steelers, have been sitting on their asses for a month as the Super Bowl is played in beautiful Indianapolis...

In this economy I can't fathom how that is a worthwhile outlay of cash. 

You're an idiot Chris Brown. 

[Shut Down Corner]


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