Originally written on Awful Announcing  |  Last updated 10/20/14
What I want to know: what spurred Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson to help Instagramming men worldwide by sharing six precautions for those who possess both X and Y chromosomes and also like to use the super-popular mobile photo-sharing service? Did Jackson's girl have an issue with who he was following, because five of the six "rules" certainly indicate he had some sort of negative experience. Then again, it's possible he's just heard some horror stories from pals. Either way, these warnings come from people with experience, so pay attention, dudes! The fourth "rule," which feels a bit out of place but still seems to stem from paranoia, is definitely the best. But I'd like to amend that by suggesting that you avoid pictures of food altogether. Unless you want to join the stereotype that led to this wicked parody: (Hat tip: Extra Mustard)
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