Originally posted on The Sports Bank  |  Last updated 4/6/13
If you don’t like Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler, you will now because this story makes Jay Cutler a million times more likable. It’s taken over three years but…the day is finally here!!!! I’m so excited. The underground, urban legend of Jay Cutler has finally gone mainstream. For years, my friends and I have discussed this AWESOME story. I’ve hinted about knowing it in past articles, but never published any details. Because I only heard this story second hand and third hand. When I’ve mentioned the Jay Cutler “DON’T CARE” anecdote, I’ve usually said: “this is only rumor, it’s only what I’ve heard, I can’t publish it because my sources aren’t verified.” Then I would say, if you want to hear the Jay Cutler story, I’ll tell you off-the-record. And a few of you Chicago sports fans did in fact email me. But now we don’t have to be covert anymore. Now we can enjoy this wonderful Jay Cutler story out in the open. Can you feel a brand new day?!?! Here’s how the Cutler story goes: From IGN: Friend is in a bar in Chicago during the off-season. He goes to the bathroom and sees Jay Cutler, hat on backwards, taking a piss at the urinal. So the guy starts going to the bathroom and says, “Hey, I’m a huge fan, also went to Vanderbilt… ” Jay throws his head back, still pissing, eyes half-closed because he’s drunk, interrupts him with, “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” I heard it on WSCR 670 AM Friday afternoon. They referenced Bar Stool Sports. And Kissing Suzy Kolber published it last fall. A lot of other blogs have it, the story even has it’s own Facebook page.  Jay Cutler, we salute you! The story was fringe, but now it’s mainstream media. And this is AWESOME because my friends and I have been saying “DON’T CARE!!!” to each other for years; simply because of this story. I’ve used the phrase on numerous other members of the local sports media. Now they use it to each other. Even my 77-year-old father has been saying it for a couple years. Since 2010 this saying has been a big part of my life. Hear an insipid anecdote? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” Boring, pointless story? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” Telling me how your fantasy football and/or bracket is doing? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” Posting pictures of your food to Facebook? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” Anything ever tweeted by Darren Rovell? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” Coverage of women’s basketball? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” Press releases about individual player/coach awards? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” Now that this is out there, I’m going to copy and paste it over and over and over again when applicable in future stories. In fact I already did it once when writing about the Wrigleyville Rooftop owners desperately trying to win public support in their battle with the Cubs. Oh, Tom Ricketts is going to put you out of business? “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.” Paul M. Banks is CEO of The Sports Bank.net, a Google News site generating millions of visitors. He’s an author who also contributes regularly to MSN, Fox Sports , Chicago Now, Walter Football.com and Yardbarker Banks has appeared on Comcast SportsNet and the History Channel, as well as Clear Channel, ESPN and CBS radio all over the world. President Barack Obama follows him on Twitter (@PaulMBanks) The post Jay Cutler “DON’T CARE!” story goes mainstream appeared first on The Sports Bank.Net.
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