Originally posted on Taking Bad Schotz  |  Last updated 2/5/12

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At any rate, it’s the Super Bowl, but we’re going to have Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth calling the shots instead of the great preseason homies like Kevin Reilly, Don Tollefson and Herm Edwards, and inept ESPN guys Emmitt and Matt Millen.

Thanks to my main man Walter Cherepinsky, the pregame show should go something a little like this:

Kevin Reilly: Welcome to Indianapolis, where the New England Patriots and the New York G… hey, wait, who are you guys, and what are you doing here?

Al Michaels: I’m Al Michaels, and he’s Cris Collinsworth. We’re here to broadcast the game for NBC. Who are you?

Reilly: My name is Kevin Reilly. I’m a famous football announcer and I also happen to be Michael Vick’s best friend. Leave at once, or I’ll ask my friends on the Eagles to beat you up!

Michaels: Watch it, pal. I have five units on the Giants, three units on the Over, and two units on heads for the coin toss. My blood pressure is 200/150, and I don’t have the patience to deal with a ruffian like you.

Tollefson: Guys, guys, guys… save the aggression for the naked women I have waiting in my hotel room. I ordered them to cook and clean in the nude because women don’t deserve to wear clothing. Once this game is over, we can go to back to my hotel room and have some fun. So, there’s no need for fighting.

Michaels: Fine. Just let me call my bookie so I can make a bet on the Pro Bowl. Wait, damn it, the Pro Bowl happened already.

Okay, to the game. What do you think is the bigger storyline, Brady vs. Eli or whether or not Gronk’s ankle is feeling up to par? Although Gronk hasn’t been able to practice at all, I’d be surprised if he doesn’t play to some capacity. Assuming Gronk plays, that puts New England points into the 20s, at least. Even though New England has only allowed two sacks all post-season, with New York’s stellar pass rush look for this game to go back and forth.

Now let’s talk Brady. Did anyone happen to see his face when he was playing the Broncos? It looked like he wanted to kill someone! I suspect it was due to him being jealous of that picture that surfaced of Tebow with that busty babe. Still, as fired up as he wanted to be, the next game, against Baltimore, was one of Brady’s worst playoff games of his career.

There’s no doubt in my mind Brady will be in F-U mode once again, exposing (or attempting to) the liabilities in New York’s defensive secondary. Just look at what Vernon Davis did in the NFC Championship, burning the Giant’s D for two deep touchdowns.

On the contrary, as Peter King said, Eli Manning is on his way to becoming one of the best quarterbacks in NFL playoff history. What a January he had! Look back to Week 9 when these teams faced, Manning had 250 yards and 2 touchdowns, yet his receivers weren’t even healthy. Still, New England has done a much better job of putting pressure on the quarterback in the playoffs – 8 sacks in just 2 games.

What I think is the most overlooked statistic of all is how well the Patriot’s rush defense has been, limiting Ray Rice and the Ravens to just 89 yards on 27 carries.

Vegas Edge: none (53% of the money on New York, 47% on New England)

The PICK: As hard as the game was to handicap, some serious money can be made on this game if you follow the lines closely. If, for some reason, the line jumps to NYG +3.5 TAKE IT! When it gets down to NWE -2.5 jump on that as well. This could very possibly happen if you monitor line movement, and taking both sides would guarantee you some massive bucks if the game ends in a 3-point decision.

The books have heavy money on New York, and with a Giants win Vegas would cap off a ****** year with a ****** Super Bowl. Yet, the more money that gets thrown on the Giants the less and less I like them. Be careful; bet wisely. Take New England.

-Kaye

 

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