Looks like it’s going to be another week of quick picks for me, mostly because I forgot it was Thursday morning… then Thursday afternoon… then Thursday night… and then Watsonian texted me and asked me a question about this post and I suddenly remembered “Ah ****. I guess I better write something.” So, I’m sitting here watching “Always Sunny” and the second half of Steelers/Browns, and quickly picking the remaining 15 games of the NFL schedule.
Disclaimer: Gambling on sports is illegal unless you are in Las Vegas, Delaware or Atlantic City. Also, if I’m horribly incorrect with these picks – as I have occasionally been in the past – I’m sorry in advance. If you can’t afford to lose, don’t play. John Anthony – “The Million Dollar Man with the Billion Dollar Plan” – is not a real person. All lines from Bodog or **SBRForum** are accurate as of the time this was typed – 10pm Thursday. Home teams in CAPS. That about covers it.)
Browns (+14.5) over STEELERS: Yeah, I legitimately picked that. From Twitter, at about 7pm on Thursday: “Know I’m gonna regret this, but I’ll take #Browns (+14.5) tonight. No idea why I am doing this, other than self flagellation. #Gambling #TVF”… Looks like Big Ben’s ankle injury gave me the cover here, but killed me in all four fantasy leagues (including eliminating me from the playoffs in one). Awesome.
Colts (+17) over RAVENS: I don’t learn from my mistakes. Sure, I’ll take a road team without a QB, running game or any defensive backfield against a legitimate defense and the (current) best running back in the league. Why not?
Texans (+3) over BENGALS: Last I checked, Arian Foster and Ben Tate were still healthy.
PACKERS (-11.5) over Raiders: I think this is the week the Packers remind everyone that they’re, far and away, the best team in the NFL. Or… they take their first loss. Really, there’s no in-between.
Chiefs (+10.5) over JETS: Wait… am I really backing Colt McCoy, Dan Orlovsky, TJ Yates and Tyler Palko… on the road? Holy ****, I really might be a masochist.
** LIONS (-10) over Vikings **: If the Lions want any chance of a playoffs spot, they need this win. And with Christian Ponder missing practices this week, I don’t know how the Vikings will be able to score enough points to stay close.
TITANS (+4) over Saints: The Saints might be a dominant team at home. But on the road… they’re mediocre at best. Mediocre teams do not instill betting confidence as road favorites against playoff teams.
DOLPHINS (-3) over Eagles: I’m just not going to take the Eagles again this year. I feel like that’s a pretty sound strategy.
Patriots (-9) over REDSKINS: Something tells me Coach Belichick reinforced the “Do you job for all 60 minutes” mantra this week… Enjoy, Rex.
PANTHERS (+3) over Falcons: I’m enjoying the Cam Newton Experience so far this year. As a quarterback, he’s average. But as a “Mobile” quarterback, he’s the best in the game.
** Bucs (-2) over JAGUARS **: I really don’t want to pick either of these teams. I… I just kind of have to. So, I’ll take the favorite.
49ers (-4) over CARDINALS: Why is this line so low? Did the Niners re-hire Mike Singletary?
BRONCOS (-3.5) over Bears: Let’s be honest – fourteen weeks ago, did anyone, anywhere, in the history of ever think that the Broncos would be favored in this game?
CHARGERS (-7) over Bills: Just about time for the Chargers to make a run back to the top of the division, just in time for them to spit the bit and crush their fans. Again.
COWBOYS (-3) over Giants: The NFC East is a dumpster fire right now. It’s only fitting that the two teams “battling” for the division lead would trade bad losses back and forth for the rest of the season.
SEAHAWKS over Rams: Ugh. Good luck finding anyone to take action on this game. That’s probably a good thing. If you’re thinking about betting (or watching) this game, it’s time to ask for help.
RECAP: Browns / Colts / Texans / PACKERS / Chiefs / LIONS / TITANS / DOLPHINS / Patriots / PANTHERS / Bucs / 49ers / BRONCOS / CHARGERS / COWBOYS / SEAHAWKS
Best Multi-Team Bet: I almost don’t want to make this pick anymore. I think I’ve only gotten like four of them correct. But Patriots/Packers/Ravens/Chargers money line should hit. Should…