Originally posted on Taking Bad Schotz  |  Last updated 12/3/12

Mark Sanchez, the man we have all learned to hate, started to play football in the eighth grade, but he wasn’t sure what position he should play. This became the first of many bad decisions the California pretty boy would make during his career. Mark would go on to play the position where you have to make the most important decision in the entire game: where the ball goes every play. Let’s go back to his college days; the days where he felt confident about himself, not when playing football, but when girls lined up at his dorm at USC to sleep with him so they could say, “Hey I slept with an NFL Quarterback!” Little did they know how unbelievably horrible his career would go to the point where if they uttered the phrase, “I slept with Mark Sanchez!” they would lose all their friends and become the next Stephen Glanzberg at lunch. I know what you’re all thinking, how could you go from being the best high school quarterback in the country and starter at USC to the laughing stock of the NFL? Well, I’ll tell you… Photo: blogs.ocweekly.com At USC Mark was third on the depth chart behind Matt Leinart and John David Booty, so that did literally nothing to improve his game. In fact, watching those guys move onto the NFL probably made him realize how awful of a quarterback you can be, and still make it to the Pro’s. While chilling on the sidelines with a clipboard Mark earned himself The Trojans’ Service Team Offensive Player of the Year Award. So this guy got an award for being the best practice squad player. Who in God’s name decided we should give awards out for not playing? Maybe Mark will petition that idea to the Jets now that he’ll be back in that same position next week. Now I’ll give Sanchez some credit where it’s due; the guy was a hell of a college quarterback in his only full season at Southern California. He led the Trojans to a 12-1 record and a Rose Bowl victory over Penn State where he was named MVP after throwing for over 400 yards. Sanchez, after only playing one full season, left school early even after the disapproval of Head Coach Pete Carroll. With his brother as his agent, Mark entered the draft and was selected by the New York Jets after they traded up twelve spots to snatch him fifth overall. He signed a five-year $50 million contract, 28 million guaranteed, a contract they wish would just disappear into thin air. Sanchez’s NFL career got off to a roaring start after leading gang green to consecutive AFC Championship games. Sure, he didn’t win them, but it was a nice change for their fans who would usually be watching potential draft picks in their bowl games instead of their own team playing in January. Before their 2011 season Rex Ryan named Sanchez a team captain, a title he may relinquish at the end of this season if Ryan retains his job somehow. 2011 became the year Sanchez would begin to draw criticism. Many noticed his difficulties he had to effectively throw the ball to his receivers. The struggles culminated with Santonio Holmes getting into a heated argument with another teammate in the huddle during their final regular season game against the Miami Dolphins. Holmes was benched in the fourth quarter while Sanchez threw three interceptions in the Jets’ loss that eliminated the team from playoff contention for the first time in Sanchez’s career. Sanchez’s numbers through his first three seasons were similar to Eli Manning’s, except Manning had a Super Bowl ring and Mark did not which caused many to want to move on to a new quarterback. Remember, this is New York we are talking about where if you throw an incompletion you get death threats to your family.  During the offseason, Sanchez was criticized by anonymous teammates for his poor work ethic and his inability to improve; these claims were publicly refuted by other teammates, but we all know anonymous is Antonio Cromartie’s alter ego. The Jets management saw these struggles and traded for Tim Tebow, giving many fans hope and excitement for a new era. I mean Tim is basically Sanchez 2.0 if you think about it; can’t throw, good looking, but Tebow possesses with him a good Christian boy background. No sex until marriage, doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs, works harder than anyone; New York really just wanted to see a train wreck with him, the football was gravy. Turn Tebow into Jeter in his younger days where he could be regularly found at a night club with seven super models. The world would have exploded, but the Jets then gave Sanchez a contract extension. So, your starting quarterback sucks says your fans, analysts, and players, so what do we do? Cut him? No that would be nuts! Let’s give him a three year contract extension along with $20 million more guaranteed. Genius! Tebow was brought into compete for the starting quarterback job, but that was before the extension to Sanchez. People hoped for a change of guard, but many failed to realize that once you give a player a contract extension that usually means there is no threat to their job. Tebow was brought in for _______. Your guess is as good as mine because if you say wild cat to confuse the defenses you are wrong. Just look at his statistics this year: 36 plays, 7 passes, 29 runs, 0 touchdowns. The Jets never knew what the hell they were going to do with him, but it sure as hell wasn’t to play quarterback otherwise he would be starting by now. via sodahead.com During the 2012 Preseason Sanchez and his goons failed to score an offensive touchdown, a promising start to a season if you ask me while I’m drunk. The Jets opened up the season with as much confidence that a Bobcats fan had entering this season. Week 1 gave them a fairly easy matchup with the Buffalo Bills, but then again you have to score to win. Sanchez shocked the NFL and its fans by putting on show of the good kind after completing 19 of 27 for 266 yards and three scores en route to a 48-28 drubbing. This was the point of the season where Jet fans were like, “Mike Tannenbaum’s a genius! Give the man money and he’ll play better!” That would not continue once the Jets started playing real teams with real defenses. In his next four games Mark completed fewer than 50% of his passes in each game, a feat so terrible that the last man to “accomplish” that was Stoney Casey in 1999. Tebow was being knighted by everyone as the savior and the messiah to the Jets’ troubles, but Rex would not budge on the quarterback change. His play would get a little better over the next few weeks including taking Tom Brady to overtime in an eventual loss in Foxboro. Sanchez completed 68% of his passes, but fumbled the ball away in extra time leading to the Pats victory. He suffered a jammed finger on his non-throwing hand, an injury that shouldn’t have even been reported, but he would need as many excuses as he could find for his play in the coming weeks. Against Seattle and Miami he played as bad as you can resulting in more criticism and thoughts of broadcasting their future games on Comedy Central. The CIA reportedly was beginning to torture their captives by having them sit through a full Jet game, instead of just cutting off their fingers. The tactic has been said to be working and may be used in the foreseeable future. A win against the Rams set up a rematch on Thanksgiving with Brady under the bright lights of MetLife Stadium. Fans began to think, “Hey if we win this, we can make the playoffs realistically.” After the 49-19 debacle to the Pats, some fans were looking for Ashton Kutcher in the parking lot with the assumption that they were just on an episode of Punk’d. Mark’s two turnovers resulted in two New England defensive touchdowns, and many wondered how much worse it could get. Little did they know during the Jets’ long layoff in between their next game, Sanchez would brainstorm with other putrid quarterbacks like Rex Grossman as to how he could worsen his game. Well, Rex came through big time, as Sanchez once again completed less than 50% of his passes while throwing three picks and failing to eclipse 100 yards passing. Sanchez was finally benched in favor of….NOT TIM TEBOW! Skip Bayless must have popped an artery after seeing Greg McElroy under center and not his obsession. McElroy led an impressive touchdown drive and gave the Jets a 7-6 victory which actually gives them a glimmer of hope for postseason play. A very favorable schedule up ahead could very well give the Jets a 9-7 record and a playoff berth, but who is going to play quarterback? One would think Mark is not going to be an option, but who really knows with how this season started. McElroy led gang green to a win, but was it enough? Tim Tebow is recovering from broken ribs, but God will probably heal that miraculously in the coming days. Do the Jets owe it to Tebow to give him the nod, or will they slap him in the face and start the former 7th rounder out of Alabama? This decision could decide whether Rex Ryan is your head coach next year and if you’ll see his squad come January. My gut says McElroy gets the nod, but we’ll have Skip Bayless argue that to the point where Stephen A. Smith hopefully gets a steal chair and bashes him during a commercial break. As a Packer fan I find entertainment by this all, and realize how fortunate I am to have arguably the best quarterback in football steering my team towards a division title. One thing we can say for certain, December 2nd, 2012 was the day we all can remember as the day Rex Ryan said to Mark Sanchez, “Go get me a snack, Greg’s going in.” -Huberman

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