Found February 09, 2013 on
Home and homes are like torture.
If we wanted to spend this much time with people who live in New Jersey, we'd just kill ourselves and go to the laundromat in hell.
Alas, hockey makes us see terrible things sometimes.
At least we're getting it out of the way.
Hope you are out of the snow and in your pajamas this Saturday afternoon.
BEST HANGOVER CURE
Assuming you spent the night throwing back straight liquor and watching Netflix instant view until that little box popped up because the company assumed you'd died of alcoholism/loneliness/boredom/heart disease, you didn't feel too great at 1:00 this afternoon.
Feeds are limited, so that adds to the headache if you don't have cable or live in Pittsburgh
But then Clarkson gets called for tripping and we're on the PP 44 seconds in. The nausea ebbs.
Sutter gets a nick of a Despres shot and it's tipped in. Kennedy on the secondary.
You feel like he parked the hangover bus right in front of your house and hooked you up with that sweet IV relief.
Thank you, sirs.
MOST (ANNOYINGLY) FERVENT INDIVIDUALS
The refs are just a mess. They are calling everything. Now, mind you, there's a lot to call that's kind of real...but can't we just let it go?
Penalties are being handed out like the free headaches at the DMV. Between the PPs and the PKs, MAF is the cool, refreshing cumber slices that soothe our weary eyes.
Krys Barch - as if that is a name - takes exception to the fact that Engo is a man with a strong pimp hand. Engo doesn't give a **** about his feelings. They go at it.
Our hearts were cold and empty and sad after Godsy left, but Engo has eased into that spot and made our lives much easier.
CUTEST ENEMY GOAL
The second period is all penalty this, penalty that, MAF being a hero, etc etc. With 3 and a half minutes left in the second, Stefan Matteau manages one past the flower to get his first NHL goal.
Whatever. Sometimes the other team scores. Hockey would suck if they didn't. And honestly, this is how we want them to do it. In a cute way.
MOST WTF MOMENT EVER
Brodeur thinks it's safe to retrieve his lost stick during some Debs possession. Malkin makes a quick attempt at the net. Christmas Ham has to scramble back across the ice to the goal and flub around to block what would have been an empty net goal. The puck skirts along the blue line, and Hammy falls between the net and the puck.
Ham is lollin.
We are too, kind of.
It was worth seeing.
The situation with the refs has gone from "wtf" to "lols" back to "wtf" and then over to "OH MY GOD CAN WE PLEASE JUST PLAY HOCKEY?!" Sure, we're not saying our hands are clean. but sometimes it's just overkill.
The momentum is weird.
Things get jumbled.
Then the Debs start throwing it at the net.
Whatever, whatever, it's suddenly 3-1.
We'll just use the happy Debs goal again. No one gives a **** about the other two.
But still, **** you guys.
MOST VISIONS OF BABBLING BROOKS
The game plays out like we are angry kids on a school yard. We throw tantrums and get detention time and time again. We'll probably all grow up to be criminals.
We just close our eyes and go to our happy place until it's called.
For some reason Bob Errey is in our happy place.
*shrug* Makes sense.
Sometimes games are fun to watch but don't end in us winning.
This was one of those times.
Pens lose. 3-1
BEST IN SWEATS
I know sometimes it can be hard when someone looks this good, but don't hate.
LEAST AT FAULT
We'll give you our juicebox. You did great.
ALT THREE STARS
1- MAF, seriously, hit us up for that juice.
2- Refs. WAY TO STEAL THE SHOW EVERYONE IS SO HAPPY.
3- Coffee. You made this easier.
BEST OF MAXIM
HOW DID HE DO IT
When Martin Brodeur lost his stick during the New Jersey / Pittsburgh game on Saturday afternoon, no one could have guessed the hilarity we'd be in for. After declining a stick from his defenseman, Brodeur made a couple more saves without his stick before the Devils were finally able to clear the zone. Brodeur went to the corner to retrieve his stick while the Penguins hurriedly...
Martin Brodeur had some issues with his stick and his skating on Saturday, which is a real issue if you’re an NHL goaltender.
The legendary Devils goalie had some big problems on Saturday during the Devils’ matchup with the Pittsburgh Penguins. Brodeur was left without a stick, as he lost it and it ended up in the corner to his right. After having to defend the Jersey cage for...
When Martin Brodeur lost his stick during the New Jersey / Pittsburgh game on Saturday afternoon, no one could have guessed the hilarity we'd be in for.
After declining a stick from his defenseman, Brodeur made a couple more saves without his stick before the Devils were finally able to clear the zone. Brodeur went to the corner to retrieve his stick while the Penguins hurriedly...
After the first of a joke-and-home against the mighty Penguins the Devils find themselves with 17 points. Thats good for top of the Atlantic Division, top of the Eastern Conference and second only to the Blackhawks in the NHL. (I am writing mid day with many NHL games to go thus standings will change.
Yes, the same New Jersey Devils that were in the Stanley Cup Finals and did nothing...
The New Jersey Devils extended their winning-streak to five games on Sunday evening after defeating the Pittsburgh Penguins by a score of 3-1. The Devils dominated the Penguins this weekend, outscoring their division rival 6-2 in two games and playing solid hockey for the full 120 minutes.
Ryan Carter energized the Devils as soon as the puck dropped. He scrapped with Robert...
Ilya Kovalchuk and David Clarkson scored less than two minutes apart in the second period Sunday night as the New Jersey Devils beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-1 for their season-high fifth straight win.
It was the second time New Jersey beat Pittsburgh in as many games after the Devils ended the Penguins' five-game winning streak in the first of installment of the home-and-home...
Pittsburgh Penguins (8-3-0) @ New Jersey Devils (6-1-3)
ROOT, MSG PLUS, NHLN-US - 1:00 pm/et
Prudential Center - Newark, NJ
This is the quarter-point of the Pens' 2013 season (12x4=48). It's also the first game of a home-and-home against the Devils. The Pens are currently one point ahead of the Devils in the standings for the Atlantic Division and Eastern...
Match-up - New Jersey Devils (7-1-3) @ Pittsburgh Penguins (8-4-0)
Road/Home records - 2-1-2 -------------- 2-2-0
TV - NBCSN, RDS
Puck drop - 7:30 PM ET
Season series - Tied 1-1
Last 10: Devils 6-1-3 / Penguins 6-4-0
Projected starting goalies - Johan Hedberg (NJ) vs. Tomas Vokoun (PIT)
Battle of the stats
Goals for/against per game
Pittsburgh - 3.25 / 2.42
The New Jersey Devils continued their string of strong defensive performances in their opener of a home-and-home series with the potent Pittsburgh Penguins.
The Devils, though, haven't had as much success in their own end in recent visits to Pittsburgh and will try to change that trend while seeking a fifth consecutive victory Sunday night.
New Jersey (7-1-3) has outscored...
New Jersey Devils (7-1-3) @ Pittsburgh Penguins (8-4-0)
NBCSN, RDS - 7:30 pm/et
Consol Energy Center - Pittsburgh, PA
The second half of a back-to-back against the Devils, who now hold the division and the conference lead. These are the kind of battles we expected with the shortened schedule.
Tomas Vokoun will be in net for the Penguins The Devils will start...
MUST READ: Viewers guide to @scotiahockey Hockey Day in Canada (Canada & U.S.) bit.ly/14IwZu9 #HockeyDay— NHL (@NHL) February 9, 2013
“@kdraper33: Just want to wish all the hockey dads and moms a happy "Hockey Day in Canada". We thank you for your commitment.”True Drapes!— Kevin Weekes (@KevinWeekes) February 9, 2013
Congrats to Martin Brodeur for playing...