Originally written on Days of Y'Orr  |  Last updated 11/9/14
    Jebus. What an ugly, ugly game, ha. Sure, we weren't expecting much with the Bruins playing back to back games but between the Bruins fatigue and boring ass Devils hockey that game was uglier than your prom date.  But then you sit down and think... well, everyone has taken home a swamp monster in their life and if you try not to think about what it looked like too hard you realize that hey, at least you got laid. Where were we? Oh yeah, at least the Bruins won! B's still have not been defeated in regulation and continue to pile up important points in a Gary Bettman sized season.  Thinking about the Devils is making me sleepy. Just click Read More before I fall face first into my keyboard. - Shawn Thornton taking Krys Barch down to punch town! SHAWN THORNTON IS AN ANIMAL! - Nathan Horton. That is all. "Nathan Horton never drives an automatic car because he's too clutch." - Robb Horton's goal was so potent that after his goal every woman in the first three rows got pregnant. Webster Dictionary is officially replacing the word "clutch" with "Horton." Example: Man, that guy always seems to come through when the game is on the line. He's so Horton! - Sure, Seguin is still having trouble getting in a groove but he sure did EMBARRASS Hedberg. He scores on his first shootout attempt but some asshole throws some **** on the ice so the refs say it doesn't count. So what does Seguin do? Does he pull a Montreal and just go into a turtle shell? Does he pull a Buffalo, cry for hours and write in his journal? NO! He goes back down and spanks the **** out of Hedberg. Savard had to go back to the dark room because Seguin made everyone's heads spin so much. Suck it you dumbass cup thrower. - Marchand icing the game like with sweet moves like his hetero life mate. - There are not enough words for how INSANELY awesome Rask has been. Brick walls try to imitate Rask. The Great Wall of China was inspired by Rask. If Rask was a condom there is no chance your girlfriend, wife or mistress would get pregnant. Rask let's up goals so infrequently that he's shocked when you tell him he got scored on. - How much does Claude Julien wish he could decline penalties? - There was this girl in Section 306, Row 14 who won the title for most annoying person of all time. If you happen to come across this, and I hope you do, I want you to know you are just as ugly on the inside as you are on the outside. You only came to the game to drink and had no idea what was even going on. You kept yelling at the handicapped guy, you kept getting up for more beer in an obvious attempt to drink yourself pretty during the action and you kept yelling for absolutely no reason until everyone around you wished they were deafer than Helen Keller. You are a terrible, terrible human being and your giant ass nose looks like it could cut threw a bank vault door. I would rather let Magic Johnson bleed in my mouth than ever hear your terribly shrill voice again. We took a picture of this girl. If you happen to see her, please pummel her. - The Bruins would really, REALLY suck at Mortal Kombat because apparently they can't FINISH. - Why, why, why, why, WHY do the Bruins love making back up goalies look like Tim Thomas in the Stanley Cup Finals? If other teams want to beat the Bruins, all they have to do is put their back up goalie in. Especially if you're the Penguins. Could Fleury possibly suck any more than he already does? - Whoever the asshole was that threw something on the ice during Seguin's first shootout attempt. You're a useless human being and there is no point to you. You should be pummeled with a man hole cover. And how did it feel when Seguin gave you the finger and scored again anyway? - That dirty, DIRTY hit the boards laid down on Lucic in the third period. The boards completely blindsided him. Shannahan better be making a call to those boards tomorrow. - How did Jon stay awake long enough to write this recap after watching a Devils game? - What the crap was this guy doing? - Why is Shawn Thornton such a bad ass? - Can we go back in time and put Shawn Thornton in that movie Armageddon so that he can just punch the meteor and that stupid movie can be over in 10 minutes?  

Report: Rex Ryan has already cleaned out his office

Clint Trickett retires due to concussions, hid two

Drew Stanton likely out for the year, postseason included

Byron Scott: ‘Idiots’ think Lakers are better team without Kobe

Undrafted QB Connor Shaw to sign with Browns, likely start

Report: Alex Smith out Week 17 with lacerated spleen


Belichick: Garoppolo has better understanding of NFL

Lionel Hollins: 'Honored and blessed to coach Kevin Garnett'

Curt Schilling gives Johnny Manziel advice on Twitter

The last time the Lions won in Green Bay

Carmelo Anthony: The Knicks are dying

Andre Johnson willing to take pay cut with Texans?

Doug Fister bought Starbucks for his Twitter followers

DeMarco Murray dumped over cheating accusations?

Video: Rudy Gay tosses half-court alley-oop to McLemore

WATCH: Craig Sager is touched by outpouring of support during leukemia fight

Hiroki Kuroda returns to Japan, ditches Yankees

Kevin Garnett: ‘Very weird’ to see Celtics without Rajon Rondo

Report: New Jersey Devils fire head coach Peter DeBoer

Mark Richt confirms Todd Gurley will leave UGA for NFL

Frank Gore: Colin Kaepernick is 'not broke'

The story of Morgan Bulkeley and birth of National League

Five breakout stars in 2014

The 2014 NFL All-Help Offense

NHL News
Delivered to your inbox
You'll also receive Yardbarker's daily Top 10, featuring the best sports stories from around the web. Customize your newsletter to get articles on your favorite sports and teams. And the best part? It's free!

By clicking "Sign Me Up", you have read and agreed to the Fox Sports Digital Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. You can opt out at any time. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Murray dumped over cheating scandal?

Rex Ryan has cleaned out his office

Five breakout stars in 2014

The 2014 NFL All-Help Offense

Five things learned about NBA on X-Mas

What if Bear Bryant coached in the NFL?

Carmelo Anthony: The Knicks are dying

The last time the Lions won in Green Bay

Year's most notable sports media stories

'Roberto Gronkowski wishes fans Feliz Navidad

Are the Seahawks back on track?

Wright reaches out to slain officer's sons

Today's Best Stuff
For Bloggers

Join the Yardbarker Network for more promotion, traffic, and money.

Company Info
What is Yardbarker?

Yardbarker is the largest network of sports blogs and pro athlete blogs on the web. This site is the hub of the Yardbarker Network, where our editors and algorithms curate the best sports content from our network and beyond.