Originally written on Puck Huffers  |  Last updated 11/29/11

I. Intros are for suckas.
     1. But still seen as necessary in some internet societies.
     2. Like a literary overture
         a. themes will continue throughout post.
         b. this letter bullet is necessary if I want to have an "a" point.
     3. Often tells readers whether or not writer will be "phoning it in."
         a. such as right now.
         b. why can't a lettered bullet just stand alone, you fascists. 

II. Intense hatred has, historically, led to fists being flung.
     1. Goalie fights are the best.
         a. however rare.
         b. display true beauty.
     2. Some fighting styles are lame.
         a. the "bear hug" tactic.
         b. romantic dancing style.
     3. Tyler Kennedy and Sean Avery are amazing together.
         a. we can't say there was a specific winner.
         b. TK won our hearts.
         c. **** yes, two fights in as many minutes. 

III. Blingee deficiency.
     1. Bringin' it back.
          a. get some sunglasses.
          b. and powerful narcotics.
     2. Yours are welcome as well.

IV. Sidney Crosby is an inspiration.
     1. He and James Neal are probably in love.
     2. Perfect feed from Sid lets Neal land it in the back of the net.
         a. hellz yeah. 
         b. lookin' good, Jimmy.
     3. I'd let him or James Neal escort me to prom.
         a. whaddya say?
         b. may we call you Jimmy, sir?


VI. Worst second period.
     1. Worse than second period swim class.
        a. you smell like chlorine all day.
        b. no time to dry hair before chem.
        c. Jimmy will never take me to prom now.
     2. Fate jokes are therapeutic. 
         a. Callahan cries into twinkies (1-1)
         b. Mitchell rolls around in oreos. (1-2)
         c. Richards really is fat. (1-3)
         d. Gaborik sweats pure lard.
     3. Sobbing into your wine and vodka mixture is okay sometimes.
         a. cake flavored vodka is gross.
         b. marshmallow is okay.

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