Originally written on The Royal Half  |  Last updated 11/19/14

PHILADELPHIA - APRIL 21: Simon Gagne #12 of the Philadelphia Flyers skates against the Pittsburgh Penguins during Game Four of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinal Round of the 2009 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at the Wachovia Center on April 21, 2009 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Penguins defeated the Flyers 3-1 to take a three games to one lead in the series. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

Game #55

LA KINGS 
26-18-10
62 pts
7th in Western Conference
vs
FLORIDA PANTHERS
24-17-11
59 pts
9th in Eastern Conference

Kings Lead Season Series 1-0

4:30pm, Bank Atlantic Center
Tampa Bay, FL

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It's time to play America's (and certain parts of Canada) new favorite Game Show!!!

WHO! DOES! SIMON GAGNE! HAVE! MORE! POINTS! THAN!?!

Since suffering an "upper body injury" on December 26th, 2011, Kings forward and Top 6 off-season acquisition Simon Gagne hasn't played one game. In fact, he's missed 18. And while Simon Gagne being out with an injury shouldn't have been a shock to most hockey fans, the LA Kings' offense has missed his scoring potential greatly... forcing Mike Richards to skate with Jarret Stoll as his winger for most of the season. The only impact Simon Gagne has now on the LA Kings is the salary cap mobility he provides if the Kings decide they should need to acquire an scoring forward at the Trade Deadline that can... you know... actually score. Since going down with his injury, Simon Gagne has vowed to grow a beard until he's ready to skate again... and this photo of Gagne surfaced early this week.

So, nearly 8 weeks after Simon Gagne suffered his concussion upper-body injury... where does he rank on the LA Kings stat sheet?

That's right... Simon Gagne is 7th overall in scoring for the Los Angeles Kings.

Everyone together... WHO! DOES! SIMON GAGNE! HAVE! MORE! POINTS! THAN!?!

But let's be reasonable... Willie Mitchell and Rob Scuderi and Colin Fraser aren't supposed to have more points than Simon Gagne in any universe. So let's re-focus that list:

Personally... I think Jarret Stoll has been playing with some sort of hand injury all season that could be related to the arthritis he suffered two seasons ago. If you watch him during the game he hardly attempts any shots, it's strictly pass or dump first. Tell me, when is the last time you saw Jarret Stoll wind up and take a slap shot? And we all know what Dustin Penner's excuse has been this season. Instead of hoping that Simon Gagne provides cap relief so Dean Lombardi can grossly overpay for Tuomo Ruutu, maybe we should be hoping that Gagne makes it back in time for the end of the season so he can provide some offense. Which quite honestly... is just as much a pipe dream as Marco Sturm playing in tonight's game.

Man, I wish I really made these towels.

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